strange ranger

YouTube video by Erykah Badu - Topic Back In The Day

“The laughin' and singin' and jammin' and talkin'
And pumpin' the trunk with the windows rolled up, puff…”
music.youtube.com/watch?v=51OI...

I hate having to work from home…

🤣🖤 Nope! Just a random phrase from a conversation I had with a close friend of mine.

i burst up from the flames of hell for this?

person 1: Are you ok? person 2: I am acting like I am okay. Please don't interrupt my performance.

✨

licking a slutty waist like an envelope

a baby is wearing a brown jacket and a black shirt with the word aqua on the pants Alt: A toddler looks at you, blinks, and slowly turns away on a little pink scooter. All because you don't have the time for Alt Text.

It's Wednesday afternoon. You forgot to add Alt Text again, didn't you?

I just thought it was Wednesday and not Thursday and my day just got a little tiny bit better knowing it is indeed Thursday.

(after sex )

him: technical difficulty
me: skill issue

Maybe in the next life things will be different

Do you think that before we had houses, they called them cave flies?

BOSS: We need you to think about your attire.

MICHELIN MAN: A tire! Got it!

I have a crystalline feeling in my thighs.

I hope you have many more days above dirt.

*wakes and bakes*

🤣🤣🤣

PUBLIC TO HELP DOG BITE VICTIMS --The Jersey Journal, 18 Mar 1915

I feel like the dog doesn't need any help.

if you stand in the mirror and say “Modelo!” 3 times, i show up in your bathroom, drunk, shouting “WHO ATE ALL DA GOOD PUSSY” and then i throw up on your shower curtain

Here's how to split a tile.

瓦はこうしてこうですっ☆

"You will be able to improve your work-life balance."

this is the most dumbshit fortune ever

🥰 🤍🖤🧡🤍

Kind of wishing the Y2K bug did destroy modern technology after all.

after I speak at group therapy, the facilitator inevitably says, ‘well, Betsy, that is an interesting way of looking at that’, like dude, I already know I am fucking weird tell me how not to be

Remember shitposts?

call me all the lights in
my house cause im off

I wasted so many years of my life not watching Twin Peaks.

People that ask you if you're really okay don't want you to say no.

I see my skeets are bombing as usual

the problem with tunnel vision is the oncoming train