Mia the Calligrapher

My new favourite turn of phrase is from this one tiktok where a guy in the backseat is like "what're we doin after this" but he's asking the question in the driveway at 3am, so my new fave phrase is the reply from the front seat: "highkey going to dreamland, go to SLEEP"

well they do do tandoori there so the oven is kinda always open, but i've been to places before that'll do tandoori that aren't sweltering in february.....

Dude you walk in the door and it's like a wall of temperature

i fear the day that my snon becomes too strong for me to wear him as a necklace. for now he squeezes and my airways are fine but i fear a day to come

Just saw a bumper sticker that said "don't tailgate me I have rabies" and I have never needed something more in my life.

my local little indian food spot is delicious, yes, but. but they keep their thermostat at 23 degrees celsius in winter?? this can't be cheap for the energy bill

according to Karoline von Greiner Pichler's 1843 memoirs the dude would sometimes get literal zoomies, jump around, and meow like a cat. it's thought that she took these lessons in the 1770s, so i need you to imagine 20something mozart just. scramblin.

you ever think about catboy wolfgang amadeus mozart

Man math exam nightmare, haven't had one of those in a hot minute

my mental health's loadbearing coconut is occasionally splurging on boil bag of crab legs and spicy sauce and ripping and tearing til i'm a dead ringer for a documentary shot on a hyena post-meal

ourrhgh... borngr

CEOs Never Cum

i feel like the consensus would be a peanut gallery politely applauding my mission for sitting on hog, yknow? i feel that's the audience I've cultivated.

every day its just so tempting to pull an old-friends-senior-dog-sanctuary on tumblr and then just not post for some time but i fear shitposting about getting dicked down is considerably less surprising coming from me

mythology podcast i'm listening to on a icelandic episode: they were like us, they put pants on one leg at a time... most of the time......
me: ah yes yes the necropants, we've all heard of them

thinking of that one draugr story where the housemaid dies, and on the journey to bury her as she asked, the party stays in a farmer who provides such dogshit hospitality that she rises from the dead and is like FINE I'LL FUCKING DO IT and puts together a meal in the middle of the night. me tbh

i tried it so you don't have to - the pistachio ice capp. do NOT. dont. doooont get it. if you have ever had the joy of a delicious scoop of laura secord pistachio ice cream with the little chocolate on top, this watery pistachio nonsense will shit entirely over that memory

Look I know the hallmark of a good banh mi is a crumby light baguette but JESUS the crumb explosion has me out here looking like the home alone pigeon lady

i HAVE to emphasize that he did not know the english term for groundhog, and i did not know the term in mandarin. that car ride was a learning experience overall.

my seventy year old chinese father has such a deeply sporadic knowledge base of western popular culture that I was legitimately shocked to hear him replying to my grumbling about the weather with "well the groundhog says it's gonna stay cold"

ahh nothing like moving apartments to teach you how you spent way too much money on physical books, you dumb idiot. you are a nerd with nerd arms and 40 total pounds of books JUST for the apartment. (the other 300+pounds of books are stashed at parents home)

to the artists out there - you will eventually be paid to draw at least one bird. get your practice in now :)

Hell yeah gamer

an activity while i get my booty massaged

anyone wanna go get married by the cocaine bear? and yes, i DO mean that he will be officiating

once one becomes accustomed to the sheer crunch that kettle chip provides between ones teeth, all other chips are merely flaccid. sure these ruffle chips were significantly cheaper but damn does it show

forgot i had orange juice for like a week and then proceeded to chug the entirety of the rest of it in one go like some sort of scurvy riddled pirate

velociraptor

the thing about being a crafty queer in toronto is that there's simultaneously 2000 of us and 20 of us. I met someone at big way yesterday chatting about restaurants and vendoring at craft fairs, we added each other insta an INSTANTLY realized we have like 10 mutuals already

for fucks sake you don't chew a hockey puck for the flavour you do it for the texture