WineMummy

It’s ok if you don’t like my posts, I’ll be here all weekend.

I don’t remember 90% of the things I say on here

I’m sure it’s all pure gold tho

Sorry for the things I said when I was right.

The feminine urge to always be right.

I’m not proving you’re wrong, I’m proving I’m right.

Canadian ribs are like regular ribs except they apologize for being too saucy.

I’d do some filthy things to a rack of ribs.

-Me, flirting.

I’d do some filthy things to a rack of ribs.

-Me, flirting.

Canadian ribs are like regular ribs except they apologize for being too saucy.

I was my tv’s favorite kid growing up.

We go together like ribs and BBQ sauce.

We go together like ribs and BBQ sauce.

Him: You smell amazing.

Me: Thanks, it’s BBQ sauce.

here’s the thing
*totally not the thing*

It should be illegal to get out of bed on Friday.

Woke up way too sexy for a Friday.

He’s a cat, why the fuck does he hate any day of the week?

how quickly do thin mints start working? i just ate a whole sleeve

if you see me eating shredded cheese out of the bag at my desk just remember it costs $0 to mind your own business

You can do anything you set your mind to, you stupid motherfucker.

Forget roses, lay me down on a giant pizza slice.

Forget roses, lay me down on a giant pizza slice.

Fixing my problems one slice of pizza at a time.

I’d cry over the last slice of pizza before I’d ever cry over a man.

no matter what happens, pizza will always be there for you. thick and thin, in crust we trust.

Who you are when you’re tired is the real you.

Who you are when you’re tired is the real you.

I’m already tired of this week.

She was tired, like a woman who lives.

Fixing my problems one slice of cheese at a time.