Stressed

I can’t hold on anymore

I cry every week

I have a breakdown every week

I can’t do it

I not felt more willing than now. This is the best time, once and for all

Today is my grandma’s one year

I’ll see you soon ah ma

I’m not doing ok

No im sorry
Im giving up
I have no will

I don’t ever want to give up again

I’m sorry for being so sad all the time. Just now am I only starting to climb out of the hole I buried myself in. I want to appreciate life so much more than to keep hiding behind excuses

With the place I’m working at, having to see people change physically and mentally so drastically, makes me appreciate living life a lot more

The crevices of my nose are utterly raw from crying

Life hurts so much

I want to give up

I thought I could function properly but I can’t distract myself enough

I’m struggling incredibly

Turns out eating does make you feel better (physically)

How do you find the will to live when you lost it so suddenly

Going to the gym now

I thought it would be forever

These past few days, I lost how to function life

Sometimes I think they can do better

Sometimes I don’t like me

Finished thumbnails, handed in a major merch comm, it’s nearly 7am

Yeah it’s work time, I’ll sleep after work tomorrow

Also went to a new PCP on Friday, got my blood test results back and they don’t look ideal but it’s what I’m thinking, it explains what’s been happening last few years

On and off sick since coming back, I think it’s mostly the sleep and the work load

Not sleepy right now and it’s 3:30am, half thinking about staying up entirely and popping back on the PC to get some comms done, then going to the office early. I’ll see in a few mins