San Francisco Chronicle Pitchbot 明显的讽刺 (Parody)

Riley Gaines makes the swim from Alcatraz - ties for fifth place behind 61 year old former Supervisor Aaron Peskin.

San Francisco Supes approve $61M in SFPD overtime so officers can spend more time protecting Chase Center box seats and the Salesforce Tower lobby.

We go live to Oakland for a reaction from Seneca Scott as Barbara Lee wins her Mayoral race

No really, he did - "Look, in seventh grade, if I had known that I could have said the word ‘They’ and got in the girls bathroom, I would have done it."

Ex-Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel expresses bizarre regret over not being a sexual predator in middle school during discussion on trans rights

Unhinged? No, unstoppable: why schizophrenic Renia Webb losing touch with reality is the ultimate campaign power move at Oakland's mayoral forum

One People, one Social Media Platform, one Leader. - Elon gives speech about love, thankfulness and peace to Germany's far right AFD party.

SF City Attorney David Chiu joins lawsuit against Trump administration policy 'destroying the lives of immigrant communities,' assures he's 'still fully behind destroying the lives of homeless communities'

BREAKING: Multiple injuries reported at the New York Times and Anti Defamation League as staff members trip over themselves to defend an overtly Nazi salute

House Speaker Emerita Nancy Pelosi underwent successful hip replacement surgery in Germany - Here are our top 10 luxury hospital picks for when you want to avoid the poors.

Macy's said it will close 65 stores this year. Tom Wolf seen near-catatonic, muttering '9/11' over and over while building a memorial out of fragrance samples.

Canadian Native Garry Tan and Ohio Native Seneca Scott stand united in a shared appreciation for using Tupac lyrics to wish Bay Area Natives would "Die Slow Mother Fuckers."

Family members concerned as London Breed exerts the power of her office to take Ricci Wynne off suicide watch amid rumors of politically devastating "client list."

Professional tantrum thrower Seneca Scott announces he won’t make a second bid for Oakland Mayor, disappointing as many as 5,000 Oaklanders and 80% of Piedmont residents.

Michelle Tandler voices regrets after recent registration as a Republican, local Democrats rush to Twitter to exclaim, 'NO BACKSIES!'

Bay Area drivers with RFK '24 stickers devastated as California agriculture officials confirmed Sunday that the infectious virus was detected in raw milk produced by a Fresno County facility that sells its products at dozens of Bay Area grocery stores.

Gavin Newsom has promised to fight Donald Trump if he goes through on his threats. But, in doing so, Newsom runs the risk of angering a president with whom he agrees with on issues like criminalizing homelessness and crushing resistance from the Left

Ricci Wynne under arrest for, among other things, pimping out conservative San Francisco Democrats to Fox News

Gaetz out, Brooke in? SF's DA spotted in oversized MAGA hat and trench coat at SFO booking last minute tickets to Florida

'Brandon! Brandon! Brandon!' A Very Brady Breakdown: Judge Brenda Harbin-Forte's post-election paranoid Twitter tantrum extends into third week

Cloudy with a chance of embarrassment: interns create storm map of questionable shape. Editors apologize: 'Normally they shrink when it's cold out...'

Musk vows to run the government like 'X': Economists warn of second great depression, Ecologists expect burning rivers, Doctors prepare for a Bird Flu Pandemic, and Gavin Newsom plans new homeless 'camps.'

Letters to the Editor: Chronicle readers comment on Trevor Chandler's IDF enlistment, Gov. Gavin Newsom's new throne room, and local liberals insist they're not mad about being compared to Reagan

Daniel Lurie enlists Salvation Army consultant Tom Wolf to launch San Francisco's newest DEI Project: The 'Diversity and Exploitation Initiative'

Cable news pundits Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski embrace autocracy faster than you can say ‘ethical compromise’ - Announce ingratiating meeting with 'Fascist Daddy' at Mar-a-Lago.

What’s right and wrong about Trump’s Defense Secretary pick: Pete Hegseth may not be qualified, but his nomination at least represents a legitimate policy change from 2020's America to 1930's Germany

In shocking display of innovation, Mayor-elect Daniel Lurie appoints billionaire Sam Altman to use AI to fix problems caused by... billionaires.

‘For the last time, you lost!’: Exhausted Editorial Board pleads with Michael Lai to stop calling about our election coverage

Daniel Lurie beat long odds by spending $10m more than his next nearest candidate in the San Francisco mayor’s race. Building enough housing may be even tougher without more of Mommy's money.

Lurie's new cologne: Eau de Tan — How Garry Tan is working behind the scenes to position himself as Daniel Lurie's new Mommy