Matt Kilburn

Me to my wife when I've forgotten to do something that she's reminded me about 10 times.

Correct take, nobody with that much money and years of training under their belt has any reason to be as physically incapable as RFK Jr. I don't criticize anybody who works out unless they try to use exercise as an ideological weapon but that guy can eat shit. Pete Hegseth, too, while we're at it.

Yes! It’s lizard brain behavior.

A black lab puppy is out cold on her back with her head resting on a food bowl.

I mean, c'mon.

I don't want to fucking see a screenshot of Twitter on here!!!

Degenerate gambler shit.

Oh, hey. Just a quick reminder that NFL RedZone is the woooooooorst way to try to watch football.

First date with my wife 17 years ago if you wanna talk about dates that will live in infamy.

all of these people need to go to prison and most of them need to die there

I'm not sure it's in the self interest of America's tech bro billionaires to suggest that we bring back public executions to punish the most destructive people in our society.

Breakfast: leftover Thai fried rice with an egg mixed in. 10/10 would eat again.

Lance Armstrong so pissed right now.

Trust me, it's not a messaging problem that a loaf of bread is $8. (Mike's Killer Bread/Roche Brothers. Wish I had taken a picture this morning.)

Bitch, you took a whole month off.

Gotta grift while you can, I guess.

Electric pants.

I hate this smirking fuck.

What’s Bob like in the group chat?

I'll Wear It Proudly by Elvis Costello.

I literally cannot tell you how tickled I was to see this article. I live for this shit.

newyorker.com/magazine/2025/12/08/a-very-big-fight-over-a-very-small-language

Just unfollowed a relentless doomer account, not because he's wrong, but because that's all he does. You gotta mix it up, babe!

Miss me with this. You’re the boss. You’re responsible.

www.cnn.com/2025/12/04/p...

lol

and furthermore, lmao

Also, importing shit from The Bad Site to get mad at should be banned.

That's why I love big sports stuff because it's just 20 randos tweeting "HOLY SHIT!" all at the same time.

I'll say it again: Cotton looks like if Sam the Eagle had fetal alcohol syndrome.

If you think I'm not going one last time to get wrecked on Mai Tais and listen to the racist townies you don't know me very well.

@lukeoneil47.bsky.social

I would rock that Focus wagon in a heartbeat.

This evening’s dishwashing music. You know Nile Rodgers is a badass because he calls his guitar The Hitmaker and everyone is like yeah that’s right.