Mr. Rational

Every woman here is motivated by or directly manipulating a man. Ok..

You ever watch something that tries to make women seem human and complex but it just feels weird. It feels off. And you can't exactly explain why because on paper it's fine. Man Wrote This disease?

I never get mad about anything stupid

My name is ALWAYS ON TIME NOWADAYS MCGEE

Tomorrow I will awake with the secrets of normal and pleasant human interaction encoded into my DNA at last. It'll be a landmark day for everybody. The terror... over

There was a bag on sale at the queer bookstore that said, "No thanks, I'd rather bottle everything inside and explode later <3" There's radical acceptance and then there's whatever the fuck this is (red flag merchandise)

I'm v. cute actually

Is "don't go on coffee dates because it's low effort" heterosexual advice or what. Isn't a coffee date just an excuse to see whether you can talk for five to six hours minimum with a person. I don't want to accept that I'm being a lesbian about this

Cunnilingus genious

Why do so many thrillers force me to yawn over bland characters for so long simply because we're leading up to a nothingburger Big Reveal in chapter 14 or whatever. Damn, would've been crazy if the sleight of hand had enhanced my experience in any way

Grilling a cheese and feel like it's my baby... my child... my son... raising him from nothing

Girl I'm being so BAD.... buying local art 😈

Spring is my lover but she should go back to sleep

Bilbo looking at his phone top on bottom is ChatGPT After all, why not? Why shouldn't I keep it? You're absolutely right — you found it, it's been with you a long while, and it's only natural to feel fond of something that's served you so well, especially when someone like Gandalf suddenly seems to want it for himself.

I gotta get a pocket wallet for those rare times I manage man-at-first-glance mode. Nothing shatters the illusion faster than a purse

I couldn't get past the first arc. RIP

Socializing like a drug so hyped up forgot people in Seattle think it's weird if you're too friendly to strangers up front

Alex Pretti, the man killed by federal agents today in Minneapolis, appears to have been a registered nurse, an athlete, a son and a brother, with ties to Colorado and Wisconsin.

Here is a photo he used for several accounts.

Migraine aura so tryhard I have stroke symptoms

Spent 24 hours painstakingly making a lemon tart that wasn't even that good 🫡

Googling "gnarled and rancid energy syndrome how to fix"

Putting half a grapefruit in my yogurt every morning has been so good I'm going to grieve after it goes out of season... don't leave me grapefruit... I can't go back to dried cranberries. please

Every poetry event I come across is at the exact time as my weekly therapy appointment. What do poets find so auspicious about 4:30 PM PST on a Tuesday that I must choose between improving my craft and improving my mental health

I don't feel like watching anything but the Utena dub so I'm leaning in. My prediction: it'll all be pretty bad, except for the comedy scenes, which may actually make me cry with laughter

New Seattle Mayor Katie Wilson pounding fist on Mayor's Office desk with view of Downtown behind her as she holds up a golden chalice

Furious Mayor Wilson Pounds Fist On Table Demanding Chalice Of NIMBY Blood: tinyurl.com/mr7kpkrk

Thyme is a pain in the ass to work with. Time also but we're not talking about you right now girl

Grieving in the new year

Risotto 2 PM on a Thursday

Have you ever met someone irl who is the modern day corporate office equivalent of a 19th century scullery maid who busybodies about their fellow servants' inconsequential misdemeanors

Who's going to tell her she's not evil just because she's a huge dyke about it