suudonym

I definitely spent at least a week total not writing at all. first two or three days were solely planning out the arc. past several days all I've been doing is drawing and daydreaming. and yet the chapter is almost 5k words and finished???

it's funny how whenever I feel like a chapter has taken sooooo long to finish that I'm afraid to find out actually how long it took, when I finally look I find out it's been two weeks. every time this happens it's been two weeks.

the good news: bluetooth didn't set itself on fire (yet)
the bad news: the drawing. is not good.

save me penny snapcube vods channel

I have to draw so I can see if I fixed the issue I've been having with bluetooth (randomly stops working despite actively being in use and effectively deletes itself until after the pc restarts) but I'm so tiiiiired I'm so tiiiiiiiiiired I'm soooooo tiiiiiiired

there is nothing unpleasant about getting kudos but come on. you are just lying to yourself to cope with the decline of comment culture. it is okay to sigh wistfully and wish more people would tell you what they like about your story, you don't have to pretend kudos are already doing that.

someone walking up to say they like your work is like a comment that initiates that conversation. "I like this for these reasons, this really resonated with me, tell me more about this." 5 comments like that would kill me of joy. even just one would actually.

not even a comment saying "I like your work" is like a person walking up to you and saying so because someone approaching you is opening a conversation. whereas it would be kind of unhinged to reply to a simple "I like this" comment with "thanks! what about it specifically did you like?"

like at best it's like five people making eye contact just long enough to give you a thumbs up and then going on their way. you can pretty safely assume they feel positively about your work (which of course is always nice) but the details are anyone's guess.

saw a post where someone was like "5 kudos doesn't sound like much but think about it! that's like five different people walking up to you and telling you they like what you did!" and I'm like NO it is NOT. not even REMOTELY are you actually serious.

drew yesterday for the first time in months and today my hand is sooo sore. just completely forgot about the physicality of the process. guy who will never ever ever ever remember to take stretch breaks until it is too late

posting more often due to suffering more often. I worked out a tentative plan for the next arc but expanding it from summary into story is killing me so aggressively. I spent like two days planning and I don't even know where to start the next chapter. what the fuck.

is this a sign that I need to do some gesture drawing and general practice OR is it a sign that I should just focus on writing

tried to draw for the first time since the brainworms possessed me (august) and ummmm uhhhhhh mmmmm well. it went about how you'd imagine it would.

lately it's kinda felt like I'm walking into a pool fully clothed. today has felt like ripping all my clothes off as frantically as possible. I don't feel like elaborating but it's a good thing

this is a dumb problem but I'm always getting to this point where I NEED to brainstorm plot but I just don't know where to do it or even what I need. everyone says scrivener but I have that and it's so opaque that I don't know how to break into it. I don't know what a mind map is. how 2 branstorm

finished chapter 24 and crossed the 100k words threshold and I'm so fucking terrified by the likelihood that I am AT MOST halfway through this fic

fondly remember how well-fed I was back in summer. why'd everyone stop writing shit I wanna read.

I do love writing. just fuckin playin with words. doing silly shit. having the exact good time I want to have. I hope one day my efforts are rewarded but in the meantime wheeeee

do enough research and it'll change the way you look at the world permanently. you'll be watching some random anime and see a character get on a bike and you'll go "WHERE IS YOUR HELMET. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE AN ACCIDENT AND HIT YOUR HEAD AND DIE."

returned to the perspective of the fav character while they were having a very bad day and had so much fun with it that I finished the chapter in like four days. blorbo blender go brrrr

finished chapter 22 but I have now finally run right up into the great big wall of "I do not know what happens next." or like, I know what happens next but not how to make a story out of it... I know the main conflicts but not how to develop them into events......

aaagh I wanted to try to draw at least one picture a month and I'm running out of time more and more and I'm about to fail the challenge RIGHT out the gate. but instead I just keep writing and playing minecraft......

and every time I experience this phenomenon it makes me more certain that I am right to be not posting anything until I've finished or else my motivation will get straight-up murdered. starting chapter 22 btw ✌️

anytime I see a thoughtful well-written fic with one comment that just says "this is good" it gives me secondhand wanting to throw myself off a cliff

I get that it's an easy way to assert kris's canon pronouns but putting it in the tags like that almost makes it feel LESS canon, like it's an assumption or an interpretation. like, you don't need to announce it. if I'm reading and you use any other pronoun for kris I will simply hit the back button

tbh I don't understand why people tag "they/them pronouns for kris." it made sense in ch1 era when kris was given a pronoun like one time in the entire game but at this point it's like. "be aware that I'm using the character's canon pronouns!" duh?? you gonna tag she/her susie while you're at it??

after a while it struck me that maybe I was making myself look like an asocial killjoy but thankfully I seem to have been welcomed as the server cryptid

friend invited me to a minecraft server and I was like "I dunno I don't exactly play minecraft in a normal way" and she was like "oh we're just dicking around anyway, it's fine."

neglected to mention that the "abnormal" way I play is as a walking simulator. they will never see me again.

truly writing for the most important audience