Angie’s soup man

The Etsy witch that cursed Charlie Kirk is really doing the most this week.

this is a reminder that we dont have to settle for newsom in 2028

give us 20 innings this time. make this a root canal. i'll be watching. fuck god and fuck you

So if Democrats give in, poor people will die from lack of healthcare. And if they don’t give in, poor people will die from starvation. Am I understanding this correctly?

i think if you ride public transit enough you learn that most weird behavior is not dangerous, and conversely i think driving a car teaches you that everyone is trying to kill you at all times

Dodgers organist pulling out some Twin Peaks theme. 🔥🔥

Pretty sure violence is an option, but you all aren’t ready for that yet.

Remembering the time I dressed up as beloved mystery writer Mary Higgins Clark for Halloween when I worked at a bookstore and my lesbian coworker thought I was trans and I had to spend the next 8 hours hovering at the midpoint of liberal and conservative panic.

Da fuck is a Jet 2 holiday?

I unironically love it when men much younger than me make me call them daddy.

I’m convinced that people who are looking to get married are just trying to get someone else to carry their burden of existence.

Very deep. You should write books!

pink peonies in a green glass vase

at some point with peonies it’s like, okay: relax

Happy IML weekend to all who cele-gape

After 2 years of careful deliberation I have finally selected a new set of sheets. Thank you.

You want me to touch grass?!? You mean the neighborhood dog toilet???

Happy seems like a bit of stretch.

Do we? I mean if you love this song, A) congratulations on recently turning 40 and 2) it’s a really mid song :/

I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed.

Losing the T9 keyboard was the worst moment for people who have things to say after they’ve been drinking.

You can just say you want to see the brothers fuck. This is a safe space.

Joe Biden: When I was president there were no plane crashes….now uh….so many….*stares into distance*…uh trains.

People frantically googling “egg replacement” and finding themselves in the Architect room from The Matrix Reloaded with their one vegan friend who has 20 food allergies holding bowl of Chia seed.

I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you. 🙏🙏🙏

Fun fact: a Canadian woman is called a ‘Canadienne’

sending this post from a crosswalk where a car DARED to honk at me to hurry up mid-crossing. he’s honking while i write this lmao he’s so mad. i’m not going to walk away until i’m confident you’ve learned something slugger

Give me slightly more armpit and it’s perfect.

Just watched the most corporate man I’ve ever seen arrive at the pool with his light blue button down oxford tucked into his swim shorts.

Two dolphins and a small dog leaping out of the ocean.

Two stunningly beautiful men at the pool today, and me.

If you voted for Trump I will never speak to you again. Also if you didn’t (I just don’t like people)