Paperback Paradise

Photo of my kitten relaxing in a box filled with packing paper

it’s true it happened to me

Photo of a vintage science fiction book with an illustrated cover depicting a man wearing a beautiful powder blue leotard with a purple belt holding a spear and gesturing to a cheetah that prowls in front of him. Title reads: WHOSE CAT IS THIS? HE GAVE HER A BATH AND A FLEA COLLAR BUT SHE'S GONNA NEED A COUPLE SHOTS By Blanche Futt PART 5 IN THE STRAY WARDEN SAGA

Halloween sounds cassette tape featuring Dracula with his hand to his ear. Text and title reads PAPERBACK PARADISE PRESENTS LISTENING TO THE WOLF MAN TAKE A PISS AND OTHER DREARY DRAINERS DRACULA IS A FREAK WHO LISTENS TO PISS AND THIS IS HIS PERSONAL LIBRARY OF ALL THE MONSTERS PISSING

Track listing and copy reads: SIDE ONE: Wolfman's howling piss, Mummy's trickle piss, Creature's Piss Lagoon SIDE TWO: Frankenstein (huge piss warning), Invisible Man (ambient piss), skeletons crying cause they can't piss but really want to This program is honestly a violation of trust. The parties involved did not know they were being recorded but thankfully monsters are not allowed in courtrooms so there will be zero charges pressed and all proceeds will go to Dracula. Maybe if you are rich for long enough you start doing fucked up shit like this. Yes, Dracula is rich.

Horrifying audio preview

J card tracklist for Halloween Sex cassette: The sordid sounds of Halloween: Horrifying graveyard orgy (zombies, ghouls, and skeletons), Eerie dicks, Creaking asses, Rattling tits, Howling mummy sex, Moaning undead pussies, Blood-curdling cums... and many more! FORGED IN HELL DISTRIBUTED BY A FLOATING SKELETON IN A CLOAK You must find him or summon him for more tapes

Photo of a Halloween sounds cassette, copy and title reads LISTEN IF YOU DARE TO THE FRIGHTENING SOUNDS OF HALLOWEEN SEX FUCK: THIS TAPE IS NASTY AS HELL. ZOMBIES HAVING SEX IN GRAVES, DUSTY MUMMY WRAPS COMING UNDONE, GRIM REAPERS SUCKING EACH OTHER’S FOREVERDICKS, WHIPS, CHAINS, VEINS, AND PAIN!

it’s Halloween time

Image of two bookmarks, left one features a winking demon creature with the text: GO AHEAD slide this bookmark in between them pages all the way down to the crack of that spine cause you know i'm a damn BOOK FREAK Right bookmark features a man with a gun pointed at him, text reads: STEP BACK! this book is protected by THE SECOND AmENDmENT

this incredible deal ends today

Photo of two bookmarks. Left one features a frog and reads Need to remember dis page? FROGETTABOUTIT I’ll have my boys look after your spot Ey! I’m in da freakin mafia! Yo! Right bookmark features an hourglass on an old dusty tome and reads One of these days I am going to FINISH THAT OTHER BOOK that I was reading before I started this one It’s not my fault they made two good books

All 40 freaking bookmarks for 20 friggin dollars 🚨 extended to Sunday 🐸 shop: paperbackparadise.bigcartel.com/product/ever...

Book cover for the classic alien abduction book Communion that features a ‘grey’ alien face with a slight smirk. Title and copy read: THE ALIEN THAT SUCKED ME DRY A MALE ALIEN BLEW ME AND IT WAS SO GOOD I'M GAY NOW BY DEVIN HERTING LADIES, YOU'LL JUST NEVER UNDERSTAND

Photo of a print featuring the Paperback Paradise book The Alien That Sucked Me Dry

the truth is out there and now on a nice print 👽 you should hang it on your wall and confuse anyone who comes into your home ✨ available in the out of this world paperback shop: paperbackparadise.bigcartel.com

these were all found while hunting for new covers over the summer

it sold immediately but Bergman on Bergman still available

Photo of the book Between Two Fires

Photo of the book Clay’s Ark

Photo of the book Halloween Party

Photo of the book Scorsese of Scorsese

Just added 65 used books to the Paperback shop: some rare, some signed, some just $5 📚 10% off when you spend $30 😎 check em out: paperbackparadise.bigcartel.com/category/books

Book cover for Pet Cemetery featuring an angry cat’s face hissing as a silhouette of a man stares off. Text and title read: I just FED YOU Stop yelling at me...

Hey that’s on the back cover

also in this scary set

Photo of a paperback paradise postcard featuring the erotic horror cassette HALLOWEEN SEX

Wish your family a happy Halloween with this autismal Paperback Paradise postcard set 🎃 9 haunted postcard 👻 2 possessed bookmarks 💀💀💀 paperbackparadise.bigcartel.com/product/pape...

If Dr Frankenstein made a man that he is Dr Frankenstein’s son. Full name: The Monster Frankenstein

Back cover synopsis for Selling Frankenstein’s Feet Pix Online FRANKENFEET FOR SALE Read the hastily scrawled note posted everywhere from the account DRAXHOTPIX32. Dracula was not good at the computer, but he did know how to take pictures with his phone and send them to people who paid him - which is exactly what he did with all the photos he took of Frankenstein's bare feet crushing over-ripened fruit, wedding cakes, and miniature models of a pre-9/11 New York City. You see, Frankenstein has a bit of a destruction fetish; with mad scientist laboratories being his favorite thing to destroy. So when Dracula called him up and told him he had some things for him to step on, Frankenstein didn't think twice about stomping on over and crushing up a ground zero while Dracula snapped away. But when the Union of Monsters & Dark Creatures catches word of Dracula's scheme, they launch an investigation into the Frankenfeet operation. They discover that Frankenstein has not received one cent of the cold fortune Dracula amassed. Is it really exploitation if Frankenstein's feet aren't his own to begin with?' Dracula argues. Frankenstein was sewn together from the body parts of executed criminals, but is a frankenbody not his own? What follows is the great courtroom drama of our generation featuring all the famous monsters shouting at each other and yelling 'objection.' The Mummy is the judge. WOW, DRACULA IS A BAD PERSON. Martin J. Wolfman, Monster Times

Photo of a vintage book cover featuring Dracula dropping gold coins onto his pile of gold coins, he’s smiling as he clearly is a greedy individual. A full skeleton lays on the pile of gold, perhaps it is one of his girlfriends. A naked woman looms in the background for some reason. Copy and title read: HOW DID DRACULA GET RICH? Selling Frankenstein’s Feet Pix Online By Herman Baldsack Dracula made a fortune off of Frankenstein's feet without his permission and he is a disgusting piece of garbage for that

Photo of a vintage book cover featuring a linen closet with the door opening slightly revealing a smiling skeleton inside. Copy and title read: When lonely nights turn bonely Secret Sex Skeleton PORRIDGE FIRM

Photo of two deeply sexual Paperback Paradise bookmarks. First one reads i only like books that haveGraphic SkeletonSeX Scenes’ accompanied by a woman and a skeleton making out with additional text: ‘aw hell yeah — this is what i'm talkin' about’ Second bookmark features a slyly sexual demon winking at you with the text: GO AHEAD slide this bookmark in between them pages all the way down to the crack of that spine cause you know i'm a damn BOOK FREAK

It’s sex month- I mean, monster month

Photo of the Back of the postcard which reads The Room Where Dracula Sucks His Own Dick The Prince of Darkness was on the ground with his pants around his ankles, defiantly stretching his body to an impossible position only achievable by the undead. He flicked his tongue like a snake until his mouth reached his ghoulish member - that's when he started going crazy on his cursed crotch. 'Oh hell no; Rachel whispered as the sounds of suck were so evil that it melted the paint off a painting of a smiling clown.

really put the hottest part on this thing

did you know that 100% of rules are made up?

Photo of a postcard featuring the paperback paradise book ‘The Room Where Dracula Sucks His Own Dick’

Halloween postcards are now available 🎃 9 haunted titles, 2 freaky bookmarks - only 10 possessed dollars 💀 mail this one to your dad!

paperbackparadise.bigcartel.com/product/pape...

thank you for spreading awareness RIP to the naked husband

Back cover for Skeletons Fucked Up My Naked Husband, synopsis reads: CURSED TOWN!! The moon belonged to the creatures of the night and in the cursed town of Gurtlin that included local skeletons that returned from the grave by the glow of the full moon. The skeletons met up and held each other tenderly for they lacked the organ and tissue necessary to nut. Out of respect to these unfortunate undead, the townsfolk of Gurtlin observed the tender skeleton evenings and withheld their nut for another night. UNBEKNOWNST TO CRAIG He and his wife pulled into Gurtlin Motel with one idea on their mind: have sex in a different town. They called it The Fuck Tour and the nutting was good. Little did they know that the skeletons would feel their out-of-town humping on a spiritual level, leading their skeletal jealousy right to the scene of the sex where a naked man would be beat to death! PISS AWARD WINNER

Photo of a vintage illustrated book cover, a naked woman mourns her naked boyfriend(?) who is lying on the ground unconscious, presumably dead, as many skeletons loom over him victorious. An award with a review are featured at the top of the cover: INTERNATIONAL PISS AWARD "Pee came out fast." - SIGRIN GROWTH Book title and copy read: SKELETONS FUCKED UP MY NAKED HUSBAND AN EVENING OF LOVE-MAKING TURNS INTO GRAVE-DIGGING WHEN JEALOUS SKELETONS SHOW UP AND BEAT A MAN TO DEATH FOR TRYING TO NUT ON A FULL MOON BY HERMAN FILTH

it’s time

When painted by a honest soul, goblins with huge asses can change the world