Andreas Braun

mysql extension but no MongoDB? Not fair!

Something like that 😂

Didn’t quite work out that way. Apparently I get to enjoy it as attendee until the very last slot when I have to work 😂

Eight years ago, I gave my first conference talk at SymfonyLive Berlin, giving an overview of the Doctrine ecosystem. Join me in April for what may be my last conference talk, this time on ORM abstractions and what they mean for the AI tools we’re now building. live.symfony.com/2026-berlin/...

Just like writing down q.e.d.

You are my absolute hero for making all these console improvements. Can’t wait to test them!

How to Scale to a Billion Documents in Symfony This article was written by Andreas Braun. If you regularly drive a car, you will no doubt be...

I wrote about how I built an application that stores more than half a billion fuel prices in a #MongoDB database and displays the relevant 30 prices faster than you can blink. Part 1 on how to model the database and import this much data is available now: dev.to/mongodb/how-...

We need to find contacts at Microsoft. Desperately need one

Imposter syndrome is a bitch, isn’t it? We know that a bunch of people have to be above average in whatever, but we always assume it’s not us.

I would love to see it released at some point!

Photo of me and Pauline behind the 20 years of Symfony photo booth.

The #SymfonCon Amsterdam 2025 was awesome. So many nice people to meet and see again. Very good talks from the best speakers.

💥 Earlier on stage: Andreas Braun (@alcaeus) — “Coping With a Bad Sequel: SELECT * FROM Regret”!

At #SymfonyCon Amsterdam 2025, Andreas took us on a humorous and insightful journey through SQL, modern databases, and the quirks of handling complex data types! 🖥️🗄️💡

#Symfony #PHP #TechConference #SQL

I use these words when I spent hours trying to get something to work and don’t want to admit that I feel stupid as a result. So I pretend it was easy (and make everyone else feel stupid instead).
I would genuinely love to have some kind of CI tooling that forbids these words in docs

The PHP Foundation is Seeking a New Executive Director The PHP Foundation — Supporting, Advancing, and Developing the PHP Language

The PHP Foundation is Seeking a New Executive Director! 🐘💜

We're asking the PHP community to help find the right person for this role. If you know someone who would be an excellent fit, please encourage them to apply or reach out to us directly.

thephp.foundation/blog/2025/11... #phpc #php

We will chat at Laracon EU 😊

I’m the person to show up four hours early to a flight, then complain about crowded airport lounges. I wonder if I can expense the cost of the private terminal in Munich 🤔

That is way cool! I only use my rake to occasionally open my mailbox. Never really got the hang of picking a regular lock

The joy of private health insurance. Enjoy paying more every five years now

This is how I format them. I avoid nesting though, because it just creates this weird indented mess.

You’ll have to ask @taylorotwell.bsky.social, but I’d love to see some more Laravel influence in all things PHP

That’s optimistic. Bonus tip, split off a pile of documents that need scanning for preservation 😉

The entire process, including the questionnaire screams “designed by neuro normies”. Lucky you if your parents still have your report cards (mine fortunately did). Reading them was a revelation in and of itself

Behind every successful man stands an old Gary?

Yeah, @asgrim.dev has done awesome work on this. Crazy to think that two years ago all we had was an idea, and now we’re deprecating pecl 🎉

I printed a soda can opener for my wife since she’s started having long nails and was complaining about it. Me, as soon as I hear my nail touching the key cap I have an urge to cut it off entirely

Hey, that’s me! You should totally come to Amsterdam to see this (and all the other great speakers)

On the other hand, I wasn’t stressing out about this post since I haven’t reviewed code in a while anyways.

Your knowledge of my insecurities scares me

I feel seen 😂

Congrats! 🥳