MalicousMalarky🍉（ ͜•人 ͜•)

Monsters Ink Smile GIF ALT: Monsters Ink Smile GIF

The older I get, the more I feel like that mom in Monsters University when I listen to music

Cracking my neck is starting to sound like those clicks that the raptors make in Jurassic Park

Trump announces National Guard shooting grazed his cheek, may have drooping face definitely unrelated from whatever the fuck a stroke is

It is kinda fucked up to do shrooms in the middle of a genocide of the middle east

I tried to explain to the nail tech that I wanted my right pointer and middle fingers to have shorter nails, and she was confused and thought I met all of them. I tried to explain that I wanted just those ones, but I got embarrassed and said it was okay and just let her do it how it was

I need headlines to stop being so absurd today

Can't believe JD Vance just keeps casually killing people lol

Musician: oh yeah, I know that song! Let's play it!
The bridge: She has no idea what's about to hit her

AMAB:
Assignee
Miserable
At
Birth

Oh what I would give for a lobotomy right now

Millennials are killing the grocery industry claiming it's 'too expensive' but have plenty of money for phone bills, fucking losers

I know it's not a real thing to be concerned about but also...

*turns down the volume of Pulp Fiction so my neighbors don't think I don't agree with a guy yelling about 'dead n-word storage' *

It was in that the type of surgery but also it wasn't helpful for my self esteem

I know the doc said I couldn't have bottom surgery because Im too fat, but it wasn't necessary for him to point out how tiny my dick is

Why does being a woman mean I'm supposed to be under 200 lbs, be willing to do so much more labor emotionally for others and physically for my appearance, and be ok with being SA'd?

Maybe spending my teen years wiring my brain for suicidal ideation wasn't the best recipe for success in the long run?

Do I want to be her? Or do I just want to have sex with her?

Maybe if I had let myself be faggier as a kid, allowing myself to be more feminine wouldn't be so hard.

JD Vance hugging Erika Kirk like that so his wife makes him sleep on the couch 😏

Halloween was happy 🎃

Hey guys be careful with your Halloween candy this year, I found a list of codes with The Football in my M&Ms, and almost blew up the city. Stay Safe!

Is it bad taste to be CK for Halloween?

They're not gonna reopen the government, they're gonna place a temporary one in charge, and eventually that temporary government will become permanent.

I love [insert 80's property]!

Said 80's property: *is inherently transphobic*

"maybe, if I keep my social circles smaller and smaller, no one will make me feel bad BUT me"

Debating being messy on main because I'm upset at my life and everything 🥲

Guy named Al waking up from a coma in 2025 to discover a world he believes is full of people who hate him for tricking everyone and killing the planet. Poor guy.