KyleTheScientist

I like to imagine that before the advent of thin plastic wrappers people were able to make food in the middle of the night without waking every living being in a 6 mile radius

Unnamed Eagle: I'm thinking "white-maned" or maybe "snowcap"

Some guy: How bout bald

"Scoogli doochie crumbo wumbo!"
- me explaining to my Sim parole officer that I was nowhere near the CEO's house at the time of the assassination

Why does cloth get darker when it's wet

Restaurants have a hard time with my name

Christmas? More like criss ma ass

The Buffalo Wild Wings near me just took lemon pepper sauce off their DoorDash menu and I'm considering ending it all

"Your guess is as good as mine"

Brother I guarantee you're guessing better than me I have NO knowledge

I'll burn that bridge when I come to it

Who else up cuttin' they mustard

Luigi's Mansion 4: Luigi's Mangione

Put Lulu on Balatro

Me at 8am: Oh my God what a horrible feeling I'm never staying up that late again

Me at 3am the following night: One more run of Super Poop Ball 3

Me when I'm on a roll

Not the anime tiddies man 🙈

My guts are having a whole ass argument right now about what to do with all the ice cream I just dumped in there

#lactoseintolerant

Tap

ngl I put ALL my eggs in the SAME basket EVERY time I go to the store.

any other little freaks out there or is it just me?

im tryna save up a thousand words so i can finally afford a picture

i have a hard time wrapping my head around things cause my head bones don't stretch very good. how're you guys doin it?

So excited to hear all about *googles furiously* Distributed Component Object Models

OHHHH I just realized people aren't talking about cooking when they say based

I'm gettin tired of Peppa Pig when are they gonna come out with cumin pig or something crazy like ketchup dog

Cleaning the litterbox is the poor man's archaeology