The Daily Dread @the-dailydread

Voting Booths Add DNA Tests to Ensure All Voters Are At Least ¾ White And ¼ Bald Eagle

05.02.2026 00:07 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Interviewed NASCAR Attendees Say They Don’t Really Like Other Races

28.01.2026 00:23 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

ICE Agent Deeply Remorseful After Accidentally Shooting Armed Hostile

25.01.2026 00:29 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

“I’m Just Glad Our Government Isn’t That Oppressive” Says Iranian Citizen

22.01.2026 20:22 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Secretary of Health RFK Jr. Brags He Can Tell What Illness Someone Has Just by Reading Their Autopsy Report

15.01.2026 21:56 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

US Government Rounds Up All the Journalists to Make Sure the Bad Guys Can’t Get to Them

15.01.2026 01:17 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Stranger Things Finale Reveals the Real Strange Things Were the Friends We Made Along the Way

14.01.2026 00:52 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Greenland Acts Like Our Ally and That’s What Makes Them Dangerous

13.01.2026 01:24 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Congress to Weigh in on the Ethics of Invading our Own Ally

12.01.2026 00:59 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Trump Excited to Meet All the Hobbits in Greenland

10.01.2026 23:41 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Person With No Grasp on Reality Very Optimistic About the Future

02.01.2026 00:39 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Trump Pardons the Grinch for Stealing Christmas Saying It Was All Just a Big Misunderstanding

01.01.2026 00:30 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Netflix Acquires WB Games, Becoming the Second Most Used N-Word by Gamers

20.12.2025 22:39 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Trump Receives Nobel’s Coveted “Participation” Trophy

17.12.2025 22:03 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene Resigns After Realizing She’s a Majorie Failure

14.12.2025 00:06 — 👍 2 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0

New Twitter Location Label Reveals Many Users Posting in a State of Delusion

13.12.2025 00:18 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Trump Copies Putin’s Peace Plan Homework but Forgets to Change the Name

11.12.2025 01:11 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Average Reading Grade Level of Gen Z is Also 6-7

10.12.2025 01:58 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Tomahawk Missile Obliterates Bathtub Toy Boat Over Drug Trafficking Suspicions

05.12.2025 22:50 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Therapist Dying to Tell You to Get a Better Haircut

04.12.2025 15:11 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

ICE Agents Last Seen Pursuing Princess Leia and the Death Star Plans

03.12.2025 21:04 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Stranger Things Season 5 Dangerously Close to Making Will an Interesting Character

02.12.2025 18:37 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

People Complaining About Air Traffic Cuts Should Just Suck It Up and Use Their Private Jets Like the Rest of Us

01.12.2025 01:59 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Kanye Hires Private Investigator to Find the Marbles He Lost

29.11.2025 00:06 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Instead of the Politically Incorrect “Happy Thanksgiving!” Say “Gobble Gobble! Go Choke on a Mashed Potato!”

28.11.2025 01:21 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Most of US Government Budget Spent Treating Hand Cramps from Constantly Rewriting History

26.11.2025 19:36 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

After Madagascar Military Coup, When Asked When Public Elections Will Be, Military Simply Says, “I Like to Move It, Move It”

25.11.2025 15:09 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Local Police Force Loses Baking Competition Yet Again Due to a Few Bad Apples

20.11.2025 23:04 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Guys, I’m Starting to Think Some Rich People Aren’t That Great

19.11.2025 01:43 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Researchers Discover That All Food is Grab & Go If You Dine and Dash

18.11.2025 00:21 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

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