The Squeaky Wheel

The record will officially become 73 days if Cattan fails to tag anyone during tomorrow’s 30-minute recess session.
thesqueakywheel.org/disabled...

Not a Single Known Photo of a Wheelchair Contains FDR

“Either the chairs are all empty or they show someone who is definitively not Franklin Delano Roosevelt.”
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Paraplegic Architect Who Put Building’s Only Entrance on the Roof: ‘Now How Do You Fucking Like It?’

“All the windows were just paintings of windows, and the fire escape ladders are sort of treadmills that keep sending you back down.”
thesqueakywheel.org/parapleg...

A graphic with a doctor and a big thermometer reading "Help us reach our $5,000 Goal Thermometer not for rectal use* *until we hit the $5,000 goal, then it’s fair game"

We’re already 20% there! Celebrate Giving Tuesday at thesqueakywheel.org/donate/

Sleeping Beauty Actually ME/CFS Girly Waiting for Doctor, Not Unlicensed Prince

“No one even bothered asking me WHY I was sleeping.” thesqueakywheel.org/sleeping...

Adding a shot of Tylenol or even Tylenol PM adds acidity, flavor and a little bit of that extra autism.
thesqueakywheel.org/adding-t...

“It’s not even that I don’t want to be disabled in general, I just am glad I’m not you. I’m happy I have my health, but that’s only part of it. Your life just seems really unpleasant, even in ways unrelated to your disability.”
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Americans Honor Thanksgiving by Spreading Measles Across the Continent Again

Few things could be truer to the spirit of Thanksgiving than a resurgence of measles. thesqueakywheel.org/american...

High School Textbook Dedicates Entire Footnote to Disability History

“Disabled people are only the largest minority, so it’s understandable that textbooks wouldn’t dedicate that much space to them.”
thesqueakywheel.org/high-sch...

Disabled Woman Not Sure if Guy Is Staring Because of Wheelchair or Because She’s Hot

“Just once I’d like to be sure someone is staring at me because I look sexy!" thesqueakywheel.org/disabled...

Everything is fine.

But that tenth doctor? She (yes, she) RECOMMENDs giving us your money. 9 out of 10 doctors RECOMMEND giving them your money. give it to ‘em!!! Swipe for a less funny but more informative message

help us grow Squeaky Wheel Media is not only a certified laughfest™, it’s a certified 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization, and we rely on donations from our readers to sustain and grow. If our crowdsourced strategy doesn’t work, we might have to ask Larry Ellison, and he seems pretty busy. do we spend it on labubus? No. All donations we receive go directly towards our mission of empowering disabled comedy writers and educating the public about disability issues. At a time when free speech and disability rights are constantly under attack, your contributions ensure we can be a loud and squeaky voice fighting for disability justice.

Our fundraising goals While all of Squeaky Wheel’s administration is volunteer-based, we know we could achieve further reach and greater impact with a stronger financial foundation. With more funding, we can compensate for more writers and creatives, hire our first paid staff (all of whom will be disabled, of course), and ensure Squeaky Wheel will be a vocal presence in the disability community for years to come. All that... for memes? In addition to our online satire publication, our organization has expanded into a workshop program, an international television series, a gift shop, an annual disabled comedy festival, and a soon-to-be-announced mutual aid program.

give the gift of love (By love, we mean money) Interested in making a HUGE impact on our measly little operation? While one-time donations are a wonderful way to lock in that tax deduction, we also encourage you to consider a recurring annual or monthly donation, for all of eternity, or until your debit card expires and you’re too overwhelmed to update your payment info. No donation is too small, however donations can be too big if they skyrocket us into the billionaire-class, fundamentally undermining our scrappy spirit and turning us into corrupted hypocrites. In all sincerity, telling our jokes is a true joy, and we would do it for free. But pretend we didn’t say that, and please donate, because we want to do this forever, things cost money, and disabled people deserve fair and equitable pay.

If The Squeaky Wheel has ever given you a smile, a laugh, or a temporary cold sore, please consider donating at thesqueakywheel.org/donate.

Because who ever said disabled people aren’t capable of locking animals in cages, stripping Munchkins of their rights and turning their ex into a shiny metallic servant boy.

Autistic Parents Give Birth To a Healthy Tylenol

This week, a local autistic couple welcomed a lovely, bouncing baby Tylenol into the world, weighing in at 500 milligrams.
thesqueakywheel.org/autistic...

College Student Wastes Spoons on Boring Party

"I can’t believe I’m going to spend all weekend in bed recovering from THIS.”
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It Happened to Me: It Actually Was Demonic Possession, Not Psychosis

"Let me tell you, as someone who received extensive, unhelpful treatment for psychosis: That is wrong. It happened to me. It actually was demonic possession."
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“After my foot surgery, I was told to stay in bed for a month and keep my weight off of it. During that month, I discovered that I am fantastic in bed and should just stay here!”
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After recently linking autism to circumcision, a dispirited body politic is beginning to think RFK hasn’t actually found the cause of autism.
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Ally Alert! Husband Holds Disabled Wife on His Shoulders So She Can See the Parts of the House She’s Never Seen

Elizabeth had never seen the top of her refrigerator. For 35 years, she never cared about it.

thesqueakywheel.org/ally-ale...

“It’s a real mind trip. I mean, I know we’re not supposed to define ourselves by our disabilities. But they are still part of our daily lives, and it would be nice to know which one I identify with.”
thesqueakywheel.org/woman-wi...

Report: Standing Fucking Sucks

“Big Standing is deeply corrupt, and has been funding biased studies for YEARS!”
thesqueakywheel.org/report-s...

Woman’s Mysterious Illness Predicted by 1997 Episode of ‘The Simpsons’

Who needs ChatGPT when you have Homer

Affordability IS accessibility

Flight Cancellations Devastating for Wheelchair Repairman

As thousands of flights have been cancelled across the nation, the wheelchair repair industry is struggling more than ever.

Her Disability Doesn’t Define Her. That Perfect Ass Does.

"My juicy cabussy is so distracting that I can get away with any embarrassing symptoms"
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Look at This Rich Bitch Who Can Afford COBRA

“I had heard people talking about COBRA before and how much they hated it. I assumed it was a snake.”
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We Decided Which Disabilities Justify Unemployment, and Which Are Just Excuses, You Lazy, Ungrateful Brat

Disability status has been tied to employment for centuries. A lot has changed since then (although less than we would have hoped), and so we decided which disabilities justify being unemployed and which are just fake excuses for your whiny little butt.
thesqueakywheel.org/we-decid...

Question Posed to Autistic Person Wasn’t Really Question

Much to her annoyance, local autistic woman, Lea Jameison, has discovered through context clues that a question posed to her was – in fact – not really a question.
thesqueakywheel.org/question...

How to Be a Supportive Friend When their Symptoms are Fucking Disgusting

I love my friends. But let’s be honest...
thesqueakywheel.org/how-to-b...

Who would've thought