The Squeaky Wheel

Nephrologist Refers You to a Cardiologist Who Refers You to an Orthopedist Who Admits Doctors Don’t Know that Much

After your fifth referral, you thought the orthopedist could finally give you some answers.
thesqueakywheel.org/nephrolo...

The American healthcare system.

Inaccessibility Complaints Plummet After City Disability Office Installs Heavier Door

The office celebrated this reduction in complaints by increasing the angle of their entry ramp.

Bipolar Friend Owed Apology After Being Dismissed for Believing Global Elite Pedophile Conspiracy

“At the time, we believed the New York Times or the Brookings Institute provided us with respectable assessments of truth and reality. Now, we understand those institutions to be predominantly employing pedophiles or people who are controlled by pedophiles.”
thesqueakywheel.org/bipolar-...

Adaptive Kitchen Gadget Makes Cooking More Difficult

“Maybe it’s for lefties? Or finger amputees?”
thesqueakywheel.org/ready-fo...

‘Neurodivergent Grindr’ Just Library

There’s nothing that brings the D like the Dewey Decimal System
thesqueakywheel.org/neurodiv...

Study Finds Majority of Women Choose a Bear Over Male Doctors

1 in 3 women in the study reported that the bears made them feel “seen and heard” and that they showed “considerable empathy and interest in my organs”
thesqueakywheel.org/study-fi...

Oh No! T-Shirt Has Tag

Please send help.

How Does This Fatigued Woman Do It All? Narcotics

“I just didn’t see how my napping was hurting my family, but when they explained how destructive my inactions were, it made sense. I am so grateful they bravely coerced me to take illicit substances.”
thesqueakywheel.org/how-does...

Disabled Woman’s Politics So Left Wing Even Medical Condition is Progressive

Initially the medical condition presented as a possible allergic reaction to something in the free market. thesqueakywheel.org/disabled...

Good News! Your Emergency Appointment Is in 2 Years

We have determined that your symptoms do require an emergency appointment, so we have scheduled one for exactly two years from today.
thesqueakywheel.org/good-new...

Opinion: ‘Disabled’ Is Not a Dirty Word (Except When I Use It with You, You Little Disabled Hottie)

Avoiding the term “disabled” stigmatizes disability as being gross or inappropriate. And for that reason we normally say, “Disabled is not a dirty word.” But tonight...
thesqueakywheel.org/disabled...

Help! I Am Too Good at Masking and Now My Coworkers Think We’re Friends

Unfortunately, there is a devastating consequence to being so good at neurotypical small talk.
thesqueakywheel.org/help-i-a...

New Accessible Fire Escape Access Allows Anyone to Fall Off and Die, Equally

Here's a list of what anyone, disabled or not, can now experience thanks to the newly accessible fire escapes. thesqueakywheel.org/new-acce...

Thanks, Inflation! Man with 3 Disabilities Now Has 4

Dr. Richmen elaborated: “This couldn’t have been prevented, and it’s actually a good thing for me, your doctor, because I now have more things to bill you for.”
thesqueakywheel.org/thanks-i...

Dyslexic Wizard Curses Omelet

He ate it anyway. Tummy hurt.

Blind Groundhogs Expect An Early Spring, Yet Again

If only all groundhogs were blind, we'd have no more long winters.

Sexually Active, Nonverbal Disabled Woman Annoyed that AAC Device Never Makes Good Orgasm Noises

“I just want some way to simulate moaning authentically!” Rosenblatt whined, (to the extent that she’s able).
thesqueakywheel.org/sexually...

“Horse-drawn? Steam? Cable-hauled? Electric? Compressed air? Battery-powered? American Car Company? JG Brill Company? Cincinnati Car Company? Edward’s Rail Car Company? Gilbert Car Company? W. L. Holman Car Company? Jewett Car Company? 1891? 1892? 1893? 1894 —”
thesqueakywheel.org/autistic...

Beginning after Barrack Obama’s inauguration in 2008, a billionaire-funded “populist” strategy merged a swath of working-class grievances with logic that didn’t cohere back then and has only gotten messier since.
thesqueakywheel.org/17-years...

"Back in my day, ALL of our ramps were uphill. In both directions!"

"Not a ton of mutterers, screamers … no manic street preachers or anything like that. Most sound like their lives are pretty put together. " thesqueakywheel.org/disappoi...

"I’m not trying to find a soulmate in a hearing guy from Tinder.” thesqueakywheel.org/deaf-wom...

Couple Adds Calling CVS Pharmacy to BDSM Rotation

“When it comes to punishment, there’s nothing like struggling to access your medication in a commercialized healthcare system."
thesqueakywheel.org/couple-a...

“We still love him just the same, but it slipped our minds.”
thesqueakywheel.org/unpopula...

Disease with 10 Syllables Must Be Pretty Severe

“All of my other conditions are five syllables maximum,” said Payton fretfully. “Maybe I could’ve dealt with seven syllables. Or even eight. But TEN?”
thesqueakywheel.org/disease-...

Insurance Company Asks How Long Chronic Condition Will Last

“If there’s no end goal, then clearly the treatments aren’t working and won’t be covered under our policies,” BlueState claimed. “We’re sorry, but we have to think about our bottom line.”
thesqueakywheel.org/insuranc...

Mattel’s New Autistic Barbie Includes Crippling Anxiety to Be In Character

With an eerie sense that she's always being perceived, Autistic Barbie is facing immense pressure to live up to the glamour and effortless charisma that her predecessors are known for, while still needing to accurately represent the vast diversity of lived experiences within the autistic community.

Dog Thinks Cane Is Big Stick

“Look, I got the sense after a few seconds that this human had a disability,” said Oreo. “But let’s be real here for a second! That stick is a stick! It’s a stick! Oooh, I really want that stick! But I can’t have that stick! It’s the human’s stick!”
thesqueakywheel.org/dog-thin...

The Parapalooza lineup is 🔥. Who’s your favorite? Who’s missing?