nothing hits the spot after work like a nice tall glass of vegetable oil

going to the brothel and asking for a quarter because i was told change would do me good

walt whitman at the gay orgy be like: i contain multiple dudes

Strange presidents lying in pools distributing leg hair is no basis for a system of government

what would you guys think of a new batman villain called "The Soup-maker" whose thing is making soap instead of soup which makes people really mad because they were expecting soup and got soap and also the soap is made of people

cant wait for the future when i become a cyberwarlock by paying a monthly subscription to a superintelligent ai that grants spells and powers via personalized recommendation algorithm

i only buy products made with prison labor

This 97 Year Old Therapist Still Practices Psychology The Freudian Way

Big Pharma doesnt want you to use a stethoscope to listen to your balls #rfkjr

neil armstrong if his kink was being the other guy in a cuck situation and was also 10% bisexual: thats one small kiss for man, and one giant load for mans wife

if anyone has a suggestion for the lore and worldbuilding of this comedy bit feel free to contribute

the ghost containment barriers were erected at the tail end of the reagan administration and he was convinced the internet was just a fad so theres a major vulnerability although to be fair who would expect abe lincolns ghost to know how to get into the internet tubes

MY GHOST WIFE IS AT REST. I don't want to haunt the white house. I only want to see the ENDING of OUR AMERICAN COUSIN See my ghost balls. CLICK HERE

new bit idea: ghost abraham lincoln is trying to escape the white house ghost containment barriers by entering the network and using a virus which spreads through sketchy porn ads. the virus puts a small bit of his spirit on the host computer and it will reassemble once his entire soul has escaped

like cmon at least back in my day we would construct a new physical vessel in which the wretched approximation of the dead wifes mind and soul could reside. give your dead wife the respect she deserves

so sad that people dont try to use dark magics to revive their dead wife anymore. they just make a computer pretend to be their dead wife which is much more boring.

guy who is being tormented by salad demons and can only call for help via recipe blogs

that mf must have been mining ManaCoin or some other stupid ass castercurrency. he probably put it in his lame ass poorly ventilated ass desert cave hideout, or he put a reverse chronofade spell and managed to gather 3 years of dust in the span of 3 hours. motherfucker

very dusty computer

had a very odd day yesterday. this alien wizard portalled into my room, said he had to borrow my pc to save his home dimension, and returned it like this....

my lightbulb store is failing because of candle culture. i cant even make an honest living anymore, because of wick.

gay cbt fetish skrillex writing bangarang be like:
shocks on both my balls yay
please plow me

poorly made edit of ryan gosling as an x wing pilot

I Starfight.

i dont really trust people with single syllable names

whoever said man cannot live on bread alone was probably a shitty baker tbh this shit slaps

extraction shooter? no thanks i never extract before i shoot

hidden valley ketchup son or heinz ranch daughter

remake of house md and its the same show but instead of vicodin hes addicted to sucking cock

next time, we'll send two hawks, to be sure you get the message.

avatar is pretty good

had a bit of the brainworm tonight