If you were a nurse who voted for Trump: you get what you deserved.

If you were a nurse who didnt vote for him: im very sorry.

My mom was like "huh. My kid is clearly a dumbass and should have obeyed a warning sign but I should have taught her what poison ivy/oak/sumac looked like. So we're both dumbasses" UNTIL I let it slip that I went past the sign to impress douchebags.

😆😆😆😆

It was blocked off because behind the school was basically just a field of poison ivy and at some point, I touched my face. I got poison ivy in both my eyes, nose, and mouth. and didnt see clearly for over a month.

@radiodeadair.com @taradeenihan.bsky.social in regards to Dan's poison ivy story: when I was in 3rd grade, the playground had a big "DO NOT GO PAST THIS POINT" sign. But im new and want to impress some cute (totally douchy) boys. So I go past.

Someone should dox #KimDavis so that we can flood her with pro-lgbtq pamphlets

Im here for it

Unpopular opinion: I liked the ending to #AHouseofDynamite

All yall need to listen to this week's #HoodPolitics

Apparently some pundit types need to be reminded that resigning from your job is not cancellation.

A place I went to over the weekend had some faux cotton in a vase with other flowers. Best not let Serena Williams know 😆

Everyone in the govt deserves fired. This is bullshit.

Can someone take out Nick Fuentes too?

Im sorry...but #CharlieKirk wasn't important enough for the flags to be at half staff. 🤷‍♀️

I really wish me leaving this stupid fucking country was feesable. Im tired of a goddam pedo telling me what I can and cant do. #FuckICE #FuckTrump (and fuck Trump's mom for not aborting him)

I dreamt that someone Luigi'd #KimDavis. I aint brave enough to do it but I cant say im against one less bigot in the world

The world would be a better place if #KimDavis mom had aborted her bigoted ass.

Can someone spam #KimDavis with gay porn? It would be hilarious to watch her cry like fucking pussy over it.

#Leanne is just "Reba" and "Reba" did it better.

Although, I laughed once. So I guess I've spent 20m doing stupider things. 🤷‍♀️

Ya know....this bullshit is exactly what id expect from a corrupt govt

Today’s Daily Cartoon, by Niall Maher. #NewYorkerCartoons

Sign up for our humor newsletter to get the Daily Cartoon right in your inbox: nyer.cm/rcvcIek

Still mildly stoned this morning. Oops. 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️🌬

I just learned #CaughtWithSidePiece is a genre of video on YouTube. 😆

today's @dailyzeitgeist.bsky.social is extra funny if you haven't listened

The greatest tool working people have to win dignity, power and respect is organizing.

So proud to stand with labor as your Democratic nominee for Mayor of New York City.

Beloit, WI revitalized its waterfront and chose this way to celebrate it: by bringing to life Georges Seurat's "A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte."

Gettin some overtime today and tomorrow 💪 (only a few hours. But still)

@jd-vance-1.bsky.social

You're here now? Gross. Go away.

A lady is taking her dexterity test to work where I work. If you pray, pray she gets it. We need bodies

#Medicare should have more funding. Not less.