Shane Reaction

A picture of Masterchef judge Grace Dent looking directly to camera in a red dress.

Right, deep breath.

Firstly, are you ok?

A screenshot of a Wikipedia article entitled 'List of sexually active popes'

Sorry I've been a bit quiet on here, I had some important reading to do

You've changed

Was going to keep this for something to listen to cooking the dinner but I've given in. I need it now!

Made the rookie mistake of making your sticky cocktail sausages ahead of time and now they're almost all gone and I'm going to have to make another batch. HEAVEN ON A TASTEBUD

Oh yes Mar. It's fabulously fun and there's no maneness. I did convince me Kate Bush was singing the Baywatch theme dressed as an otter a few years back.

TANKEN YEW for another year of Strictlys banter. It's been lovely. Even with YER MAN.

Will you do it next year if they ask you TANKEN YEW

Making you sit through the go compare wan to get Pete feels very very harsh

Hard something from me. I APOLOGISE I'VE GOT CAUGHT UP IN THE FESTIVITIES

Short letter to Irish Times, detailing the grief felt by the letter writer at Christmas, after the loss of his wife.

What a letter.

Just a little bit

Vito from Strictly, all sweaty, westing a white vest with black braces

I don't know how to say this other than if Vito Coppola put me through a pasta maker, boiled me in hot water and covered me in bolognese sauce I'd still thank him #strictly

I'm a cold hearted hag but goodness me I WEPT

Someone cutting a pair of trousers with scissors

Me in Vito's dressing room before the #strictly final

S(he)'s getting my three free votes tanken yew

HAPPY STRICTMAS MAR. My weekly Strictly takeaway is late and I'm going FERAL with hunger. Or maybe it's just Vito in his aubergine trousers

okay but you know you could release a screamo version of the macarena and it would still be witchy twink xo

⚪️ top
⚪️ vers
🟢 you can do whatever you want whenever you want

Yes

Oh very! And the episodes are short and sharp which makes an easy watch.

I've always had so much space in my heart for Lisa Kudrow, but oh my goodness she's ASTOUNDING in No Good Deed. The first Netflix show I've binged in one session in forever because it's just so darkly funny and unpredictable.

I've decided archangel is my favourite witch twink song since howl :) :) :)

A big bulged Latvian man in snug underpants

I'm so into the Latvian national final this year

Carol Vorderman sitting on a barrel

You've heard of elf on the shelf but what about Carol on a barrel?

Thanks to #imaceleb I've gone from not caring one way or the other about Coleen Rooney to thinking we should abolish the monarchy and appoint her head of state.

Rula Lenska holding a giant Wispa in front of a DeLorean

This is what Kirsty MacColl meant when she said they've got cars big as bars

Olly alexander looking zesty

Drop the name of the Foundation you wear bitch

My Spotify top songs with Dizzy by Olly Alexander on the bottom at #5

Bottom king 😍

What If by Kate Winslet deserves what All I Want For Christmas is You by Mariah Carey gets.