@mitchellepner.bsky.social
Attorney, former AUSA, father, husband, former JBLC, long-time Knicks fan and occasional talking head https://mitchellepner.substack.com/ https://www.thedailybeast.com/author/mitchell-epner
Song for the Day: When Doves Cry - Pirince & The Revolution
youtu.be/UG3VcCAlUgE?...
Epner’s second thesis: All knowledge worthy of the name can be found in The Godfather I & II.
Turk fails to kill Don Vito.
Sonny kills Bruno Tattaglia.
Michael kills the Turk (+ McCluskey)
Michael escapes to Sicily.
Tattaglia kills Sonny and Apollonia (with Carlo & Fabrizio)
Michael kills all.
I was not sure, but I was sure that others might take your post literally.
Solidarity, my friend.
Killing a bunch of elementary school girls to distract from having raped a bunch of middle- and high-school girls is pretty fucking grim.
28.02.2026 16:34 — 👍 2997 🔁 804 💬 42 📌 19
The problem with Ted Cruz as a potential SCOTUS nominee is NOT his knowledge of the law. I attended law school with him and he is as book smart as they come.
The problem is that Ted Cruz is Ted Cruz, a person devoid of honesty, integrity or humanity. Not enough bad things can happen to Ted Cruz.
Operation Epstein Fury
28.02.2026 10:51 — 👍 2427 🔁 619 💬 35 📌 15
I will talk about anything & everything that leads the part of the populace who voted for Trump to realize he is lying felon. He campaigned on releasing the Epstein Files & many low-information voters supported him on that basis.
I’d also talk about destruction of the Rose Garden, if it resonated.
I picture Elaine Benes explaining this to a thinly-veiled Solzhenitsyn.
28.02.2026 13:04 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Song for the Day: Laughter In The Rain - Neil Sedaka
youtu.be/MtIibcNDQ6o?...
Godzilla v. Mothra. Both are monsters.
Pass the popcorn.
On the northbound train
Riding with wife and daughter
Rural home awaits.
[sarcasm alert] The President can only get a rehearing on adverse rulings by SCOTUS if the Chief Justice wore the Rehnquist ceremonial robe with gold stripes at oral argument. [end sarcasm alert]
Trump is the ne plus ultra combination of stupid, ignorant and loudly opinionated.
Proud that you are my congressman. Please continue to stand up for the survival of our Republic against the fascist onslaught of Donald Trump and his minions.
27.02.2026 21:12 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0While Fonzie eventually overcame his aversion to liver, I would be happy to have everyone who would rather eat steak than beef liver pulling the lever for my candidates, leaving MAGA with the entrails.
27.02.2026 20:14 — 👍 5 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0
Dershowitz upon seeing Dershowitz quoted in the press:
Longer than there've been fishes in the ocean
Higher than any bird ever flew
Longer than there've been stars up in the heavens
I've been in love with you.
Of course the Simpsons nailed this decades ago.
youtube.com/clip/UgkxMpt...
I am all for a revival of virtue.
Let’s reward modesty, humility, expertise, kindness, generosity and empathy with our respect, admiration and solidarity.
I blame Netanyahu for squandering one of Israel’s most important strategic assets for the last 60 years, the bi-partisan support of the American populace.
I believe he will go down in history as the biggest threat to Israel’s survival since the War of Independence.
On 11/7/12, I met Tom Goldstein in the litigants’ lounge at SCOTUS as opposing counsel. When we shook hands, I did not imagine that 14 years later he would be convicted of tax & mortgage fraud to support his aspirations as a Mack-daddy poker high roller.
www.oyez.org/cases/2012/1...
Song for the Day: Where Have All The Good Times Gone - Van Halen
youtu.be/0akdECguSVs?...
Larry Summers has been suspended since December with no contact with students, pending investigation, as noted in the linked PBS article.
www.pbs.org/newshour/nat...
Latest member of the Leopard Face-Eating Party to be shocked when the leopard eats his face.
27.02.2026 00:22 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Brady Tkachuk is the latest member of the Leopard Face-Eating Party to be surprised when the leopard ate his face.
www.espn.com/nhl/story/_/...
As a former AUSA who headed the DNJ anti-trafficking effort from 2003-04, that the FBI conducted repeated interviews of the two women who alleged that Trump sexually assaulted them as minors means that the FBI believed that there was at least *some* degree of credibility.
This process is corrupt.
As a former AUSA who headed the DNJ anti-trafficking effort from 2003-04, I concur that the fact that the FBI conducted repeated interviews of the two women who alleged that Trump sexually assaulted them as minors means that the FBI believed that there was at least *some* degree of credibility.
26.02.2026 14:03 — 👍 21 🔁 4 💬 0 📌 0As a former AUSA who headed the DNJ anti-trafficking effort from 2003-04, I concur that the fact that the FBI conducted repeated interviews of the two women who alleged that Trump sexually assaulted them as minors means that the FBI believed that there was at least *some* degree of credibility.
26.02.2026 14:01 — 👍 70 🔁 10 💬 1 📌 0
The Trump admin keeps insisting that a lot of the accusations in the Epstein Files were baseless, and surely some were.
But the FBI held FOUR different interviews with one of Trump's accusers and then SIX more with another accuser, which suggests the agents thought *these* women were on the level.
Proud that my daughter @madepn.bsky.social works for Rep. Espaillat (D-NY). The congressman himself was once an out-of-status immigrant from the Dominican Republic.
26.02.2026 13:59 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0As an employment lawyer who has dealt with tenure cases, it is extremely hard for a university to remove a tenured professor more quickly than three months, if the professor invokes process. A deal for Summers to resign in shame three months from now probably is as fast as he could be fired.
26.02.2026 13:58 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
Song for the Day: Chain Gang - Sam Cooke
youtu.be/zBn5aIfZElE?...