littlelovedevil

worrying about them not enjoying such a thing ... which is fine ! but

i haven't had a little nest in my bed for since sharing my bed.... uuuu...

i was being bullied so i threatened to 'bury myself alive' !! and regrettably because i was talking to a close friend, this became,

"surely nobody will find you or continue to dote/bully you because they'll have no idea where to look! Surely not your nest!"

i'mm going to explode,,

iwanttomaidpostsobadly...

no, i am no better,
i would indulge you over and over and over...

for your pleasure, and my own.

such obsessions are not entirely rational,
yet you stoke and feed such a thing...
which one of us is the greedy one?

rationally, i think, reality could slap me in the face. things could very well be far different than i dream,

but i would simply trace what was real constantly, then dream anew.

does such a thing make sense ?

i am truly, truly lovesick.
i wonder painfully if i'll ever feel better ...

burying my blushing face into my pillow is hardly the remedy during these restless nights

but maybe if it were you beside me. maybe if i was holding you...

i have lots in my head, but none put into words
i hope my feelings suffice tonight,,

no, maybe i can write something crude. something far less eloquent than usual ...

really want to write, but... hhead hurts.... i can hardly thibjk11

we'll continue to love
in indefinite half-hour intervals

i'll do my very best to self-soothe. such a skill is important.
it, um, just happens to involve daydreaming about you, though, and receiving your very generous affections...

...i promise i won't just restlessly yearn all night. this time it's different,

it simply isn't fair to call me out .

no, i haven't stopped thinking about when you likened me to a dog since i haven't been doing myself any favors to disprove it ...

i wait patiently when you're gone... whenever you return or speak to me, whatever spectral tail i feel wags excitedly, i am quite obedient,

yes, but i think if i were a spider, it would be prudent to wrap you in my silk for devouring later ... and keeping you safe and mine in the meantime .

yes - we'll experience so much together...

dreaming is different, isn't it? made of stars and sparks, i think... has no bearing on the world, only in my head and my heart to trick me,

yet i'll do what i must to make certain we have so much love to look back on, regardless of what becomes of us.

more sleeppy thoughts...

i am not one to have a set goal or to expect for certain things to happen with people. these days, i try to anticipate as minimally as possible (such would hurt my head)

but i once again find myself dreaming of the vague and unreliable...

to think i'd come to greet sleep as gratefully as i do now,

i have my princess all to myself in the morning. sleep, perhaps, has its uses...

how can one fall asleep in these conditions ?

i'm a daydream closer to simply knocking myself out.

/ mp

such a vile, dreadful thing turns and writhes

a tongue that wants for blood, jaws that ache to tear into fascia

i don't believe i should share, no,

you can't come around and unravel me, too. such a thing wasn't the deal .

if i can manage my hope and expectations, i do so immediately. when i'm devastatingly disappointed, i dissociate to be smaller. manageable. cute. polite. easy !

so when you ask me such things... it's like asking for all of me. of course i become so flustered–

i'm not used to being asked about my desires ...

i think of necessity. i'm stubborn around my birthday and christmas.

to want so shamelessly is just too difficult for me .

i'll take care of myself, i'll say. i'll take care of others ... these are things i need to do.

even something as simple as holding you there, holding you still ...

or leaning in to press my face into your neck
to simply ...
be there

my lap,

i keep thinking about how you placed yourself in my lap

and i didn't take advantage !

i'm sure my princess adores when she feeds me a metaphor and out pops a word salad,

(still thinking about the lightning cable) okay, but if we were both androids,