Will Hines

“Science fiction? More like REAL LIFE.” - me, blowing minds

Caught up on podcasts! (Deleted everything)

I want a coffee that has a fist to punch my heart , punch it hard.

I will stand up for hot children of famous people.

All shows are either
Best Friends Hugging
Or
Broken Jerks Hating

Why must I have “have goals” or “manifest success” or “go outside” or “get up” or

You don’t see a lot of people riding horses these days.

Hercule Poirot stars in The Mystery Of The Detective Who Wanted A Nap

Alex Cross in the new mystery Fuck This I’m Going to Arby’s.

Sherlock Holmes and the Case of He’s Tired And Doesn’t Want to Deal With Someone Else’s Bullshit

“You’re all obsessed with Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. What about Maslow’s really wanting of a sandwich right now?” -Maslow

I’m so tired I am going to sleep right after I post this bullshit there done

I swear to god today I will do everything different

I mistrust AI, don’t like social media algorithms but I love self driving cars, so in terms of disliking tech I’m somewhere between Black Mirror and Alien Earth. This makes sense to me.

Venmo: need to search?

Me: yeah here’s the first four letters of my friend whom I send money to all the time

Venmo: nah, how about these four strangers you’ve never heard of?

Me: no I want my friend.

Venmo: I’ll show you him for one second but then back to the randos

Great news!!

Friends: be mad with me
Me: I am
Friends: not the right way though
Me: no I think I am
Friends: go fuck yourself
Me: that’s what I was thinking

Instagram before: put pictures here

Users: we love it

Instagram: okay add your location, to everything

Users: uhhhh maybe

Instagram now: okay also put music and sound on every little thing so it’s annoying

Users: what? No! Why?

Instagram: you must

Cheeses t shirt

Some kitten t shirt

Monopoly : monorail t shirt

Bert cap

More

Garbage pail t shirt

Dr doom t shirt

Ghost t shirt

Beatles t shirt

I bought a T Shirt from an Instagram ad and the algorithm has gone insane. 100% T shirt ads. I feel like I finally said to an Aunt “I guess I like music” and now she’s like “FINALLY. I KNOW WHAT TO GET YOU FOR CHRISTMAS.”

Not this year! But you would and will when it does!

Once again for Halloween I will be dressed as Some Guy In A Wig.

In a tremendous act of self-love, I will not be playing the video game Baby Steps.

The Monkees: Let’s combine all of the financial manipulation of a band with all the ego problems of a bunch of actors.

Wait, it worked???

True

I stand by my sources (me making shit up)

It’s not as fun as I thought having an angry egomaniac paranoid grandfather for president.

Hah actually it’s about a post on the Beatles reddit that said “why did the Beatles stop making experimental music?”

My favorite style of Reddit rage bait is an insane claim disguised as a question.
“When did all gas stations stop carrying cheese?”
Or “Why does everyone hate the piano?”
Or “When did people stop learning how to do long division?”

Very good and smart way to talk to each other I love it.

I love that I check social media so much it’s good for me to see people I taught improv to once or twice be mad all the time this is good I am good