Brian Spears

I’m 57 years old and both my parents worked full-time office jobs from at least age 5, and I grew up in a trailer. They bought a new car once in my life. Neither parent had a pension and we rarely did family vacations.

Shit, I was a parent one generation ago and this wasn’t true.

When the twins were six or seven maybe, we took them to this event at the zoo and there were two people dressed in inflatable Elephant and Piggie costumes. The twins looked like they had seen God.

New product idea: rebar curtain rods for people (like me) with large knucklehead cats

Gonna start measuring the cost of things in relation to how many weeks of plasma donations they are.

The official word on anything that dealt with illegality was that the church is not law enforcement and they’re only responsible for determining if the sinner is repentant or not, which is real fucking convenient if you ask me.

Let’s just say I wasn’t surprised some years later to hear a couple of them had covered for a third who raped a teenager.

I found out my now ex-wife had been talking bad about me (which was fair—I wasn’t great) because an elder had wiretapped his own house because he thought his wife was cheating. And when I pointed out how illegal that was, the elders jumped on my ass about it like I’d done something wrong.

I was going to ask how likely it is that this Congress would pass a law bringing the draft into effect but I guess the real question is how Trump et al will claim the power to do this on their own.

We do a project where my college students write about aerospace stuff and give paper plane instructions for fifth graders and then get fifth graders to comment on them, and the kids do not hold back.

Maybe that’s why so many other creative people were able to expand it so easily into a full-on universe, because it’s not saying anything on its own that has to be reckoned with all that seriously.

Dude’s got that backwards. It’s avoiding those conversations with your kids that leads to the therapy.

Dude’s got that backwards. It’s avoiding those conversations with your kids that leads to the therapy.

See they have to get the fires big enough that Jesus will see them from heaven so then he’ll know the earth is finally ready for the rapture to start.

I think all this happens because safe driving and traffic laws are woke

They’re trying to turn him into Rumsfeld, but he’s not smart enough, and it’s not like Rumsfeld was ever as smart as he thought he was.

And they get to keep using the limo past the end of the contest because of some ambiguous wording over whether thirty days meant consecutive calendar days or thirty days total or thirty days worth of minutes of actual use.

If Grammarly's CEO bails, just build an AI tool to represent him and let *it* answer the questions.

Grammarly is using our identities without permission Grammarly’s AI stole my boss’s identity.

Grammarly is using our identities without permission

I have a friend who was supposed to have a layover in Chicago this morning who is now convinced she’s just relocated to the area now thanks to the weather

I’m gonna guess that by “halls of power” what they mean is “elite colleges and state schools” because you’re right that it doesn’t make sense in politics.

Or whatever the premium Uber is

Exactly. I mean I look at the job and think “I’m a reasonably smart person and that job should require more than what I’ve got going on, not less.”

“But that means he’d fit right in in the Senate…” oh shut the hell up

I hesitate to say this was the dumbest possible outcome because this administration takes that as a challenge but good freaking lord.

Shield of the Americas

Wish I could be there!

When I was a teenager, I once had dinner at the Louisiana Governor’s Mansion with Edwin Edwards and Willie Nelson (and a lot of other people).

Free idea for hotels: small bottles of distilled water for people with CPAP machines in the rooms. That’s something that’s challenging to find when you’re not staying in a place for long.

On my dad’s side: journeyman carpenter and handyman who played fiddle in south Texas, drank metric tons of beer. Mom’s side: Navy vet in WWII and Korea, became a draftsman after leaving the service.