Curtiss Frisle

My pitch for Austin Powers 4. In the year 2027, an evil genius returns to wreak havoc and a spy that was frozen in 1997 is unthawed to thwart the villain. They seek the help from Austin and we get a reverse dynamic of the first film.

Just tell them it’s an expert level glass for only the bravest drinkers.

You haven’t lived until you’ve run out of toilet paper in someone you don’t know very well’s house and you have to solve that conundrum.

Remember those shoes that were also roller skates? Do they still make those, but for grown ups? I’ve always wanted a pair, but I have bigger feet now.

I don’t know why, but I really like saying “Star Wars: Masters of Teräs Käsi.”

Back in my day, if you wanted a lava lamp, you had to sell 40 magazine subscriptions to family and friends.

Adulting at the bookstore in London.

Randomly in London at the same time as my buddy, Sean, and we were lucky enough to schedule a hang.

Not a single game is on my list but this is an awesome list!

In less than one month, the new administration has completely ruined the lyrics to “Pink Houses” by John Mellencamp.

“…And vacation down at the Gulf of America” completely ruins the rhyming scheme.

Unforgivable.

One of my favorite shows of all time. I remember watching it when it was first airing!

Worth it

I remember hearing “Tubthumping” by Chumbawamba in the Home Alone 3 trailer and thinking we about to see the greatest Home Alone yet.

Me: (just sitting there)

…..

(“Goodbye Earl” by The Chicks starts playing in my head)

Does anyone else get super paranoid when you forget to wish someone happy birthday? I just picture them sitting there scrolling through the Facebook auto posts and seeing mine isn’t there and then plotting their revenge. I’m so screwed.

a man in a tuxedo is holding a piece of paper and smiling while standing in front of a building . ALT: a man in a tuxedo is holding a piece of paper and smiling while standing in front of a building .

Like I’m gonna tell you!

My superpowers #1:
I can, without fail, tie an almost untangleable knot… but only when I’m trying to untie my shoes.

Do the makers of stickers that go on fruit have any competition? Because I feel like they could be improved and I think I could be the one to do it.

I know we’re all thinking it, so I’ll just say it…

‘Small World’ is a very underrated album from Huey Lewis & the News.

Agreed. I must say, “You serious, Clark?” about 200 times a year.

No one: …

That annoying couple: (walks around with their hands in each other’s back pockets)

Dodge.
Duck.
Dip.
Dive.
Dodge.

For the rest of eternity, is toilet paper really the best we can do to clean our butts after a poop? Have we given up post-poop innovation as a species? I’m fairly confident there must be something better out there.

Checkerboard or my eyes blow up.

When you eat waffles, do you have to fill each little divot with syrup or else your whole family will die like me?

Remember when Super Shredder collapsed a dock on himself?

What a goofus.

Don’t think anyone has mentioned it yet.

I meant the album as a whole, but I still didn’t know that. Great fact!

If you didn’t come here to find other like-minded people to discuss the seminal 2000 album “Who Let the Dogs Out” by the Baha Men, you can just show yourself to the door right now.