Svenllama P.

My stupid brain is playing tricks on me.

"Svenllama you suck / Svenllama you suck / Svenllama you don't do anything of value."

"Welcome to Hotline"

[An EMF meter that measures Theater Kid energy]

I don't understand the things that some people get romantic about, but I'm sure there's lots of things that I get romantic about that make no sense to them. So that's fine.

I don't think people appreciate how strange the last couple years of the 90s got.

[The "Seduce and Destroy" fake commercial from Magnolia, except it's Tom Cruise negging and gaslighting you into running meetings like a rockstar.]

That's racist against AI.

McCorkle Jones, PI

A+ tweet. Zero edits.

really disappointed that Taylor Swift hasn’t pivoted to shoegaze yet

Bonehead having to take a break from the Oasis reunion tour because he needs treatment for prostate cancer is a hell of a reminder of just how long ago the 90s were.

Dumb nerds.

I will never stop believing in his potential to be Joe Burrow Jr.

If you amortize his current stats across a 17 game season, McCorkle Jones is on pace to throw for 5,128 yards, 40 touchdowns, and 6 interceptions, and finish with a 17-0 record as a starting QB.

Mac Jones looks like he's going to flip a coin to decide whether Robin lives or dies.

[Steely Dan's "Deacon Blues," except it's about the narrator being transgender and closeted. Almost none of the lyrics are different.]

The algorithm has determined that I'm a Japanese salaryman. This is a new low.

NARRATOR VOICE: "And that image was the centerfold from the October 2001 issue of Playgirl magazine, a publication to which Pete's 'old roommate' had a subscription that Pete 'never got around to canceling,' and which Pete would read while drinking, 'as a joke.'"

Computer, enhance.

My natural habitat is being angry in the manner of Philip Seymour Hoffman.

One thing I miss about working for a life science / pharma company is feeling like my office was inside a Spiritualized album.

Like Christ on the cross, a blameless man answering all the sins of humanity, Annie Lennox recorded a version of Bob Marley's "Waiting in Vain" so perfect that nobody needs to do a cover of any song again. A new and everlasting covenant.

I will, ahem, die on this hill.

"Isn't it a pity? Isn't it a shame?"

Thank you for not asking any questions.

I'm sure the result of today's Patriots game is due to the Panthers being a lousy team. But I'll take it.

I would 100% be this petty.

The 1970s oil crisis does not get enough credit for being one of the most consequential historical events in living memory.

"Our days of boredom and misery are over... it's Numberwang in a box!"