insomnia

i love my gay little friends

cracking ur ankles feels soooo good mmfmgmgmgm i love the feeling of cartilage popping into place

bye not everyone in my classes slowly figuring out one of their other professors is my mom 😭😭 i'm proud to be her daughter & say so frequently, but it's SO FUNNY bc one of my classmates just told me "yea i figured out she was ur mom last week, she talks abt u a lot. like, a LOT." girl BYEEE

i need to get a job but there are only 2 places in this hellhole that i could realistically handle. 1 is going out of business & the other is struggling so bad they had to make a gofundme. there's nothing for me here. idk what to do. i'm so sick of needing my parents' money. i feel so guilty.

whiskey makes my stomach soooo evil the next day omfg this sucks

feeling joy & love & happiness like last night reminds me why i keep going. smoking w old friends & catching up, seeing a drag show together, grabbing drinks, & just hanging out? i never dreamed life could be so lovely

I GOT HER INSTA & SHE SAID SHE THINKS I'M RLY COOL & GORGEOUS I'M SO HAPPYYYY yayayay friend ACQUIRED

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me too omfggg i love 20th century style lesbian art

shitting bricks omfg this girl i have a crush on is gonna be at the dance tmr. whyyy did i eat sm this week 😭 i rly just wanna be her friend, the crush is NOT important. attraction is easily discarded. i'm much more drawn to her politics & intellect. she's SO pretty tho (& SO out of my league) 🥀🥀

thank u this helped a lot 🫶

i'm pescatarian & wear a mask everywhere i go + grow my own produce every spring/summer but i'm rly worried abt my family, i'm the only one in a household of 4 doing any of those things. any advice i should pass along to them? :((

boooo i ate. just some pumpkin seeds & a protein bar but like. UGH. i hate myself. was supposed to fast this whole week & screwed it up so bad. whatever. i'll look fine tmr at the rave. the focus will be on the drag show anyways. just sucks knowing i could've looked better if i'd been stronger.

if my agoraphobia hadn't flared up, i'd go for 2 hr walks daily followed by an hour of strength training every other day & soooo much stretching. i could def workout more as-is but my depression also gets in my way so there's several factors. i just need to lock in tbh 🤧

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i feel like i'm falling apart again which def means that shit needs to get upped. setting a reminder to call my psych first thing tmr. i gotta stop this spiral right fucking now. i have way too much shit to do & i'm beyond sick of getting in my own way. STOP BEING DEPRESSED. ugh.

time to call my psychiatrist again. prozac probs needs a dose increase. had another breakdown. The Guilt inevitably consumes me. i feel like i don't deserve to live. i've hurt sm ppl by hurting myself. i hate myself for it, & GETTING better is the only way to MAKE it better. what a nightmare.

went to dr again bc lymph nodes r swollen & painful but the white spots on my tonsils were just tonsil stones (which i removed when i got home). unfortunately still in a lot of pain & no treatment bc illness is just a nebulous infection/virus of some variety smh

totally just bombed another spanish quiz but this time it was bc i missed class 2 days in a row & slept all day yesterday due to being sick

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my only advice is to speak from the heart. why are u marrying? what do u love abt ur partner? what do u want them to know, what commitments are most important to u? be genuine. there is no shame in love. vulnerability is terrifying but where better to do so than in ur wedding vows?

tonight was so beautiful. these are completely unedited.

more than that, i feel RIGHT. i'm getting opportunities i never knew possible. i've given presentations to my community, i'm preparing to be a panelist at a conference, ppl come to me for things bc they know me & they know my values. ppl RECOGNIZE me, REMEMBER me, POSITIVELY. it's a foreign feeling.

i hate to be hung up on shit from nearly a decade ago but my formative years were hell. i never had real friends, almost nobody talked to me. if they did, it was to tell me to kms or show me gore. i'm still me, still the bold autistic goth girl, but now ppl LIKE me, in that same town. it's surreal.

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being the weird kid in a small town = 0 friends til adulthood, which wires ur brain strangely. i have close friends long-distance, but returned to my hometown & made friends locally too & it's BIZARRE. i'm... known. ppl LIKE ME. i have a real community now. HERE. it blows my mind, every single day.

Pay Sierra Downey using PayPal.Me Go to paypal.me/sierrarene3 and type in the amount. Since it’s PayPal, it's easy and secure. Don’t have a PayPal account? No worries.

im currently -$100 in my account. im looking to get a 2nd job but its so hard to find one

i am about to get my water and phones shut off if i dont come up with something soon

my cashapp and venmo are: srene35

if you can spare even $5 for gas this week id appreciate it.

www.paypal.me/sierrarene3

woke up w horrible shoulder pain yesterday, then tweaked my back somehow. everything from my left shoulder down to my hip is in constant pain. the muscles are so crunchy it feels like gravel under my skin. idk what to do

i can make anything & everything political, something my class learned today with a great deal of laughter. i made excellent points but it WAS rather unserious. i love that class. i love being educated

fuck poverty all my homies hate poverty

i hope something lesbian happens to me soon

goddess bless my body for keeping my chest small. i still want the full chop one day but for now, the dysphoria is bearable. just scared for my mid-20's cause i hear that's when everything... grows. i'll кiII муsеIf 😃😃😃

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i love my friends so much :((((