Celia Rivenbark

A Day in the Life of History’s Dumbest (And Meanest) President 5:30 a.m.: Begin day by checking out installation of concrete slab that has replaced iconic Rose Garden beloved by generations.

A Day in the Life of History’s Dumbest (And Meanest) President
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Dr. Oz Must’ve Borrowed His Pal Bobby’s Brain Worms I’ve been so busy lampooning the highly lampoonable RFK Jr., our Laughably Awful Health and Human Services director, I confess to not paying much attention to his Equally Terrible Sidekick, Dr.

Dr. Oz Must’ve Borrowed His Pal Bobby’s Brain Worms
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Elon/Trump: Time for the Great Creamsicle Smackdown Also, What’s Up with Social Security?

Elon/Trump: Time for the Great Creamsicle Smackdown
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Thom Tillis Finds His Balls But Can He Find Ted Budd? Click below to listen!

Thom Tillis Finds His Balls But Can He Find Ted Budd?
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MAGA Careth Not for "Just a Dick" Vance Hear me read it here:

MAGA Careth Not for "Just a Dick" Vance
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Trump Mobile Kicks Off With a Whimper, Not a Bang Over the weekend, Donald Trump’s dunderheaded sons, Don Jr.

Trump Mobile Kicks Off With a Whimper, Not a Bang
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Break Up Advice for Donald and Vlad I’m not saying Trump has locked himself in his Mar-a-lago bedroom to listen to Taylor Swift breakup songs and binge chocolate bars but how else do you cope when you realize the person you loved more t...

Break Up Advice for Donald and Vlad
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Don Jr.'s Awful But Daddy's Still the Worst Hey fam…honestly, I was all set to dish on something completely different today but when I read Don Junior’s comments about Joe Biden’s prostate cancer diagnosis, well, I lost my poo.

Don Jr.'s Awful But Daddy's Still the Worst
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Don’t Worry! Trump “Dolls” Could Save Christmas Hey y’all.

Don’t Worry! Trump “Dolls” Could Save Christmas
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Puppy-Killer Gets Her Purse Stolen; All Y’all Say “Waaaaaah” Homeland Security Chief and legendary puppy-slayer Kristi (“Kristi”) Noem had her purse stolen while eating at Washington, D.C.’s Capital Burger restaurant on Sunday night.

Puppy-Killer Gets Her Purse Stolen; All Y’all Say “Waaaaaah”
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Did J.D. Vance Kill the Pope? Don’t Be Crazy! Like many of y’all, I woke up this morning to the sad news that Pope Francis had died.

Did J.D. Vance Kill the Pope? Don’t Be Crazy!
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Space Cadet Celebrities Should Get Over Themselves If you need more proof that rich people aren’t like the rest of us, consider three female celebrities put on their Barbie Astronaut outfits and were blasted into space Monday aboard Jeff Bezos’ Blue O...

Space Cadet Celebrities Should Get Over Themselves
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Interior Secretary Orders Staff to Bake Cookies (and that’s the likable part about him) (If you prefer listening to today’s post, click the audio file below)

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Breaking Down Trump’s Weird Fixation with “Groceries” I just shoved a batch of stuffed peppers into a preheated oven a few minutes ago.

Breaking Down Trump’s Weird Fixation with “Groceries”
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Celia reads ... HAPPY LIBERATION DAY TO THOSE WHO CELEBRATE Hey y’all - I figured out how to post my Substack as an audio post!

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Thank you!!!! And I love Penzey's.

LMK. I keep walking by it and contemplating.

HAPPY LIBERATION DAY TO THOSE WHO CELEBRATE Happy Liberation Day, y’all!!!!

HAPPY LIBERATION DAY TO THOSE WHO CELEBRATE
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Hands Off! Wilmington Fights Back · Hands Off **Donald Trump and Elon Musk think this country belongs to them.** We are fighting back! They're taking everything they can get their hands on—our health care, our data, our jobs, our services—and da...

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Scandals, Trump’s Portrait Meltdown and A Picture You Will Never Forget With all that’s happened in the news the past few days, it’s hard to know what to talk about first.

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Elon’s Cryin’ About Those Mean Ol’ Democrats Elon Musk, who has frequently and nauseatingly spoken out on the “dangers” of being empathetic to others this week, whined about his mistreatment by Democrats whom he always thought were the nice guys...

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Whoppers With Cheese—Trump’s Lie-Fest Didn’t Go Down Easy Whoa.

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Important Update from Celia Dishes Hey y’all,

Important Update from Celia Dishes
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Republicans Use Their Kids As Props While Poor Families Suffer Something has been nagging at me when I see all these male Republican politicians parading their babies and young children around like, “Lookit me!

Republicans Use Their Kids As Props While Poor Families Suffer
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Vance Turns Into Prissy Ol’ Granny With Repeated Demands for Thanks J.D.

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Only Lame, Unqualified Reporters Will Cover Lame, Unqualified President Tuesday’s announcement that Donald Janelle Trump will personally select all the members of the press corps that covers him has left Kremlin, er, White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt breathing ...

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Regrets? Trump Supporters Have Had a Few… I’d been waiting for this moment since shortly before midnight, November 5, 2024.

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Live From New York ... It's Me Today, I’m giving our wretched and incompetent President Donald JustJack!

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Thx! Happy to be here and breathing the Musk-free air

Pete Hegseth: Nothing to Bragg About I live not too far from Fort Bragg.

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