Mike Ingram

Are your favorite directors making odes to the magic of cinema? If so, it might be time to schedule that colonoscopy.

I’d been tryjng to sell the neighborhood teens on the patreon for years, to little avail

Nah, I'll just sell it to the neighborhood kids

Ha. One of my favorite snacks!

Does that also allow for weed, or just cheese

Yeah, there’s probably also the mentality of “I can eat this as a treat/reward.” Kinda like when I’ve been running a decent amount of mileage or race training.

Thanks!

Overthinking, even! (Well, maybe “enjoy’ is the wrong word for that one)

Also, I quit drinking. Sorry, this is a weird way to tell people!

Really thought I’d lose a bunch of weight when I quit drinking but I guess you’re not supposed to do a 1-to-1 substitution with cheese

Very kind comment on Ethan Hawke & Me :). Cheers on a cold day

"Oh right, the fart poem. We all really liked the fart poem." -me in class today, at the job that pays me an actual salary

"Professor Ingram, who is this Chachi person you keep talking about?"

Is it problematic if I start calling my students “babe,” but in a Dennis Miller voice

I thought it was funny to respond to those for a while, but it turns out (unsurprisingly) that does not cut down on the number of spam texts one receives

Oh, same

At a college internship in the late 90s, I worked with some guys who remembered how many spam faxes the office got before the 1991 law that imposed severe penalties on spam faxes, and they talked about the law with a fervor one would not expect for fax-related legislation.

I know it's a small thing, relatively speaking, and maybe this will sound like some "broken windows" bullshit, but if we were living in a healthy, functioning country I don't think we'd all just accept that the price of having a cell phone is getting between 3 and 30 spam calls a day.

Michael is the ultimate grinch, if you ask me

are you also trying to convince your wife to watch the entire godfather trilogy?

does anyone else notice the giant lady doesnt cut up your hot dogs anymore!?

Oh, you're still using Spotify? That's interesting. Personally, I hire a different band each month to do a residency at my house. Feed them, clothe them. Pay them a living wage. We do a little book club once a week. But hey, your way of getting music sounds cool, too.

This adorable little guy? That's who wrote your paper?

Screenshot of tweet that says: "giddy up jingle horse, pick up your feet" sounds like something a homophobic gym teacher would say

I can't listen to the song without thinking of

I will not be mouth-shamed!

You Jersey people are prime offenders, thick-sandwich-wise. You're on notice!

This is what I'm saying!

I love a sandwich! I just don't need a huge pile of meat.

The human animal is a swirl of contradictions, Noah

As a long-time writing teacher, definitely agree. Can usually spot the specific place in a student paper where they don't quite grasp the material they're writing about; language goes wonky and diffuse/abstract.