Eric Foltin

Spirit Halloween Threw Up on My Neighborhood Here we go again. October rolls around, everyone’s transforming their houses into haunted theme parks, and my place? Yeah, it looks like a horror movie about a guy who gave up halfway through life. No cobwebs, no skeletons, no pumpkins. Just a porch light that might flicker if you jiggle the bulb just right. Every neighbor within a five-mile radius has their lawns looking like a Spirit Halloween exploded.

Spirit Halloween Threw Up on My Neighborhood

Here we go again. October rolls around, everyone’s transforming their houses into haunted theme parks, and my place? Yeah, it looks like a horror movie about a guy who gave up halfway through life. No cobwebs, no skeletons, no pumpkins. Just a porch…

Beauty in the Biomech: Why H.R. Giger Haunts My Imagination Who are your favorite artists? You can keep your beaches, sunsets, and cute little pastel art galleries. My idea of beauty involves chrome skeletons, dripping biomechanical nightmares, and alien skulls glaring out of the shadows. Yeah—my favorite artist is H.R. Giger, the guy who basically redefined what “beautifully disturbing” means. The first time I saw Alien, I didn’t just watch a movie—I had a full-on “what the hell did I just see” moment.

Beauty in the Biomech: Why H.R. Giger Haunts My Imagination

Who are your favorite artists? You can keep your beaches, sunsets, and cute little pastel art galleries. My idea of beauty involves chrome skeletons, dripping biomechanical nightmares, and alien skulls glaring out of the shadows. Yeah—my…

My Life in Logs: Geocaching and Blogging, a Match Made in Nerd Heaven What is your favorite hobby or pastime? Alright, let’s get this out of the way: my two favorite hobbies are geocaching and blogging—and yes, they sound like the world’s weirdest combo, but somehow they fit together perfectly. Geocaching is basically a global game of hide-and-seek for adults who never quite grew up (so yeah, right up my alley). You use a GPS or your phone to track down hidden containers called “caches,” which are stuffed in trees, guardrails, park benches, or occasionally, places you’re probably not supposed to be crawling around.

My Life in Logs: Geocaching and Blogging, a Match Made in Nerd Heaven

What is your favorite hobby or pastime? Alright, let’s get this out of the way: my two favorite hobbies are geocaching and blogging—and yes, they sound like the world’s weirdest combo, but somehow they fit together perfectly.…

Welcome to My Nerd Corner: Population 1 (and a C64) Well, it finally happened—I got everything hooked up! The mighty Commodore 64 now sits proudly in my little nerd corner, glowing like a beacon of pure 8-bit nostalgia. Honestly, it’s like I just built a time machine powered by BASIC and teenage dreams. This thing isn’t just a computer—it’s a full-blown portal. The dual floppy drives hum like a mechanical symphony from 1984, the click of the keyboard is oddly comforting, and the startup screen is basically the equivalent of a warm hug that smells like dust and old RadioShack catalogs.

Welcome to My Nerd Corner: Population 1 (and a C64)

Well, it finally happened—I got everything hooked up! The mighty Commodore 64 now sits proudly in my little nerd corner, glowing like a beacon of pure 8-bit nostalgia. Honestly, it’s like I just built a time machine powered by BASIC and teenage…

Aldo Takes On Oglebayfest (and Survives) So, this weekend we decided to brave the crowds and head to Oglebayfest — yeah, that massive arts, crafts, and chaos-filled event where everyone’s either selling overpriced pottery or waiting in line for a funnel cake. And of course, we took Aldo. Because if there’s one thing that screams great idea, it’s taking a tiny dog with main character energy into a sea of people and screaming kids.

Aldo Takes On Oglebayfest (and Survives)

So, this weekend we decided to brave the crowds and head to Oglebayfest — yeah, that massive arts, crafts, and chaos-filled event where everyone’s either selling overpriced pottery or waiting in line for a funnel cake. And of course, we took Aldo. Because…

House of Paws: I’m Just the Guy Who Pays the Bills Let’s just get one thing straight: my dogs are living the dream. Meanwhile, I’m pulling double shifts at Domino’s, slinging pizzas at midnight, then waking up at the crack of dawn to haul meals across the county. But Jersey, Larkin, and Aldo? Oh, they’re out here running a five-star resort and military operation rolled into one. Jersey the Saint Bernard…

House of Paws: I’m Just the Guy Who Pays the Bills

Let’s just get one thing straight: my dogs are living the dream. Meanwhile, I’m pulling double shifts at Domino’s, slinging pizzas at midnight, then waking up at the crack of dawn to haul meals across the county. But Jersey, Larkin, and Aldo? Oh,…

If Patience Is a Virtue, I’m Screwed What skill would you like to learn? Patience. Oh boy, that’s the skill I really need to learn. Not guitar, not juggling, not woodworking—plain old “don’t lose your sh*t in public” patience. Here’s the thing: I’m not exactly known for my calm demeanor. You put me in traffic, in line at Walmart, or behind some dude at Domino’s who’s ordering like he’s never seen pizza before, and my patience meter flatlines instantly.

If Patience Is a Virtue, I’m Screwed

What skill would you like to learn? Patience. Oh boy, that’s the skill I really need to learn. Not guitar, not juggling, not woodworking—plain old “don’t lose your sh*t in public” patience. Here’s the thing: I’m not exactly known for my calm demeanor. You put…

Don’t Worry, They’ll Still Suck Tomorrow Too You ever notice how the news acts like it’s discovered fire every time a politician screws up? “Breaking News: Senator caught lying!” Oh wow, no kidding, really? Next thing you’ll tell me water is wet and Taco Bell gives you diarrhea. I don’t know who still watches political coverage like it’s some shocking soap opera. Spoiler alert: the plot never changes.

Don’t Worry, They’ll Still Suck Tomorrow Too

You ever notice how the news acts like it’s discovered fire every time a politician screws up? “Breaking News: Senator caught lying!” Oh wow, no kidding, really? Next thing you’ll tell me water is wet and Taco Bell gives you diarrhea. I don’t know who…

Nothing Beats Dog Kisses

Nothing Beats Dog Kisses

Congress Can Starve, My Dogs Won’t So apparently the government is about to shut down again. Cue the dramatic headlines, finger-pointing politicians, and people screaming like it’s the end of the world. Meanwhile, back here in reality, Jersey is drooling on my leg, Larkin is trying to herd me into the kitchen, and Aldo is giving me the death stare that says, “Feed me or I will destroy your shoes.”

Congress Can Starve, My Dogs Won’t

So apparently the government is about to shut down again. Cue the dramatic headlines, finger-pointing politicians, and people screaming like it’s the end of the world. Meanwhile, back here in reality, Jersey is drooling on my leg, Larkin is trying to herd me into…

Pumpkins, Snacks, and One Tired Dog So today we decided to hit up the Barnesville Pumpkin Festival. It’s one of those small-town festivals where there’s more fried food than actual air to breathe, and the pumpkins are about the size of small cars. Naturally, Jen and I thought, “Let’s bring Aldo.” Now, the other two dogs—Jersey and Larkin—got stuck at home, probably judging us from the window like we betrayed them.

Pumpkins, Snacks, and One Tired Dog

So today we decided to hit up the Barnesville Pumpkin Festival. It’s one of those small-town festivals where there’s more fried food than actual air to breathe, and the pumpkins are about the size of small cars. Naturally, Jen and I thought, “Let’s bring Aldo.”…

Life’s Easier When You’re Not Pretending What’s the trait you value most about yourself? If there’s one trait I value most about myself, it’s authenticity. I don’t do fake. I don’t do playing a part to make other people comfortable. If you’re looking for a sugar-coated, Hallmark-movie version of me, good luck—because you’re not going to find it. I’d rather people either like me for who I actually am or hate me for the same reason.

Life’s Easier When You’re Not Pretending

95% Real, 5% Locked Away Do you think it’s possible to be completely yourself around another person? Nope. Not a chance in hell. I vote no. You can get close, sure, but completely yourself? Forget it. I’ve got different versions of me depending on the situation. There’s the fake polite version for strangers, the “please don’t fire me” version at work, the family version that tries not to be too much of a disappointment, and then the real me—the loud, sarcastic, slightly unhinged version that laughs at dumb stuff and doesn’t hold back.

95% Real, 5% Locked Away

Do you think it’s possible to be completely yourself around another person? Nope. Not a chance in hell. I vote no. You can get close, sure, but completely yourself? Forget it. I’ve got different versions of me depending on the situation. There’s the fake polite version for…

Mornings Are for Masochists, Evenings Are for Humans Would you rather have a longer morning, afternoon, or evening? If I had to pick between a longer morning, afternoon, or evening, I’m taking the evening every damn time. Mornings are already a disaster. They’re basically just me hitting snooze six times, stumbling around like a zombie, and trying not to pour dog food into my coffee cup. I don’t care how much “rise and grind” garbage you throw at me—mornings suck, and I’m not signing up for extra time in one.

Mornings Are for Masochists, Evenings Are for Humans

Would you rather have a longer morning, afternoon, or evening? If I had to pick between a longer morning, afternoon, or evening, I’m taking the evening every damn time. Mornings are already a disaster. They’re basically just me hitting snooze…

Big Weekend Project: Reviving the Commodore 64 So here’s the deal—this weekend, I’m tackling a big project. Me, a Gen X tech nerd who cut his teeth on clunky machines and dial-up tones, just got my hands on a vintage Commodore 64. Yep, the beige box of legend. The one that pretty much dragged half of us into the digital age with its glorious 64K of memory and a library of blocky games that ate entire afternoons.

Big Weekend Project: Reviving the Commodore 64

So here’s the deal—this weekend, I’m tackling a big project. Me, a Gen X tech nerd who cut his teeth on clunky machines and dial-up tones, just got my hands on a vintage Commodore 64. Yep, the beige box of legend. The one that pretty much dragged half…

Untitled Not AI generated, just weird! Here’s a cat from my route giving me the full tongue-out treatment, like I ruined its day just by existing. Not AI—just real, raw feline judgment. I had time to deliver the meal, walk back to my car, grab my phone, and walk all the way back to the porch, and this cat never flinched. Just sat there, tongue out, glaring at me the whole time. Even the cats on my Meals on Wheels route have me pegged as the enemy.

Untitled

Not AI generated, just weird! Here’s a cat from my route giving me the full tongue-out treatment, like I ruined its day just by existing. Not AI—just real, raw feline judgment. I had time to deliver the meal, walk back to my car, grab my phone, and walk all the way back to the porch, and…

When Your Saint Bernard Becomes the Face of Awareness So, apparently while I was out working like a normal human being, my Saint Bernard, Jersey, was out doing celebrity photo shoots with the sheriff for MRDD. Yep. She’s the star now. Not me, not my wife—Jersey. (Quick side note for those who don’t know: MRDD stands for Mental Retardation and Developmental Disabilities—basically county programs that support folks with developmental disabilities.

When Your Saint Bernard Becomes the Face of Awareness

So, apparently while I was out working like a normal human being, my Saint Bernard, Jersey, was out doing celebrity photo shoots with the sheriff for MRDD. Yep. She’s the star now. Not me, not my wife—Jersey. (Quick side note for those who…

Mastering the Art of Doing Nothing What could you do more of? People act like life is one giant productivity contest. “What could you be doing more of?” Uh, I don’t know, Karen—probably sitting on my ass, staring at a wall, or laying on the couch doing absolutely jack shit. That sounds perfect. The world tells you to hustle, grind, get that side gig, chase dreams, be busy every second of the day.

Mastering the Art of Doing Nothing

What could you do more of? People act like life is one giant productivity contest. “What could you be doing more of?” Uh, I don’t know, Karen—probably sitting on my ass, staring at a wall, or laying on the couch doing absolutely jack shit. That sounds perfect.…

She Deserves Peace More Than I Do If you could wish for something for someone else, what and for who would it be? If I could wish for something for someone else, it’d be for my wife. She deserves it more than anyone. She puts up with my crap, my long hours, the dogs dragging her around, and somehow still keeps me grounded. My wish for her? Peace.

She Deserves Peace More Than I Do

If you could wish for something for someone else, what and for who would it be? If I could wish for something for someone else, it’d be for my wife. She deserves it more than anyone. She puts up with my crap, my long hours, the dogs dragging her around, and…

600 Strong: You Sick, Twisted People Actually Like This Blog So apparently, miracles do happen. I just hit 600 followers. Six. Hundred. Followers. Let me put that into perspective: I never thought I’d get six. Honestly, when I first started this whole blog thing, I figured it’d just be me yelling into the void, typing out random rants while sipping coffee and listening to punk rock. Basically, my natural state. But somehow, six hundred of you maniacs decided, “Yeah, this guy cussing about life, pizza, and random crap is worth sticking around for.”

600 Strong: You Sick, Twisted People Actually Like This Blog

So apparently, miracles do happen. I just hit 600 followers. Six. Hundred. Followers. Let me put that into perspective: I never thought I’d get six. Honestly, when I first started this whole blog thing, I figured it’d just be me yelling…

On Patrol Live: Spotting My City, One Episode at a Time So Wheeling, WV is now on On Patrol Live. That’s right—my little corner of the world is getting its 15 minutes of reality TV fame. I tune in every Friday and Saturday night just to see if I spot someplace I know… or maybe even somebody I know. So far, I’ve caught a few familiar locations, which is wild. It’s one thing to see a place you’ve driven by a thousand times, but it’s another thing entirely to watch it on national TV with flashing lights and police chatter in the background.

On Patrol Live: Spotting My City, One Episode at a Time

So Wheeling, WV is now on On Patrol Live. That’s right—my little corner of the world is getting its 15 minutes of reality TV fame. I tune in every Friday and Saturday night just to see if I spot someplace I know… or maybe even somebody I…

Unexpected Guest on My Security Feed So my security camera picked up an unexpected “intruder” today—a Japanese lanternfly. Of all the things I thought I’d catch on video, a bug staring straight into the lens wasn’t on the list. It sat there like it was posing, wings spread, practically daring me to pay attention. For a second it looked less like a pest and more like some kind of uninvited guard, making itself the star of the footage. Funny how you set up cameras to catch problems, and instead you get close-up bug documentaries.

Unexpected Guest on My Security Feed

So my security camera picked up an unexpected “intruder” today—a Japanese lanternfly. Of all the things I thought I’d catch on video, a bug staring straight into the lens wasn’t on the list. It sat there like it was posing, wings spread, practically daring me…

When Life Sucks, Turn Up Pennywise What's your all-time favorite album? My all-time favorite album? That changes all the time. Depends on the day, the mood, and what kind of crap life’s throwing at me. Right now it’s Pennywise: Full Circle (2005). That album still kicks me in the teeth every time I play it. Loud, fast, pissed off, and honest. It’s one of those records you put on when you’re tired of everyone’s bullshit and just need the volume up so high it rattles the windows.

When Life Sucks, Turn Up Pennywise

When Your Campsite Comes with Rapids and Muddy Dogs There’s something about waking up in the camper, brewing a pot of coffee, and knowing you’ve got a whole day of adventure sitting right outside the door. That’s life when you’re camping at Ohiopyle State Park with three dogs who think the entire place was built just for them. Jersey, Larkin, and Aldo were fired up from the start. The second we hit the water, Larkin turned into a rocket—sprinting, leaping, and diving in after her tennis ball like the river was her personal playground.

When Your Campsite Comes with Rapids and Muddy Dogs

There’s something about waking up in the camper, brewing a pot of coffee, and knowing you’ve got a whole day of adventure sitting right outside the door. That’s life when you’re camping at Ohiopyle State Park with three dogs who think the entire…

Seven Years Down, Forever to Go September 18, 2018. That’s the day I somehow convinced Jen to marry me. Looking back, I honestly don’t know how I pulled that off, but here we are—seven years later—and I wouldn’t trade a single second of it. Life with her has been everything I could’ve asked for. She’s my partner, my best friend, and the one person who can handle my sarcasm and still stick around.

Seven Years Down, Forever to Go

September 18, 2018. That’s the day I somehow convinced Jen to marry me. Looking back, I honestly don’t know how I pulled that off, but here we are—seven years later—and I wouldn’t trade a single second of it. Life with her has been everything I could’ve asked for.…

Hills Department Store: Proof Nostalgia Smells Like Popcorn There was nothing—absolutely nothing—like Hills Department Store. The second those sliding doors opened, the smell hit you. Not clothes, not detergent, not “new plastic” like Walmart has today. Nope. Hills smelled like fresh popcorn and ICEEs—basically childhood in the form of snack food. That smell alone was enough to make you beg your parents for quarters before you even saw the aisles.

Hills Department Store: Proof Nostalgia Smells Like Popcorn

There was nothing—absolutely nothing—like Hills Department Store. The second those sliding doors opened, the smell hit you. Not clothes, not detergent, not “new plastic” like Walmart has today. Nope. Hills smelled like fresh popcorn and…

A Day at Tails on the Trails: Letting the Chaos Crew Loose We decided to load up the chaos crew and check out Tails on the Trails Dog Park in Uniontown, PA. First impression—it’s a solid spot. Plenty of room for the dogs to burn off energy, and believe me, they made full use of it. Larkin, my Belgian Malinois, immediately went into “scout mode.” Nose to the ground, eyes on everything, tongue hanging out like she just ran a marathon.

A Day at Tails on the Trails: Letting the Chaos Crew Loose

We decided to load up the chaos crew and check out Tails on the Trails Dog Park in Uniontown, PA. First impression—it’s a solid spot. Plenty of room for the dogs to burn off energy, and believe me, they made full use of it. Larkin, my…

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Lazy Evening at Camp

Ohiopyle State Park, Pennsylvania

https://ericfoltin.com/lazy-evening-at-camp/

The Hard Lesson I Learned Too Late: Boundaries Matter Share a lesson you wish you had learned earlier in life. If I could go back and whisper one piece of advice into younger me’s ear, it would be this: stop wasting time trying to please people who don’t give a damn about you. Man, I wish I had learned that earlier in life. When you’re young, you think having everyone like you is some kind of currency.

The Hard Lesson I Learned Too Late: Boundaries Matter

Jealous of Peace, Not Possessions Is there something you are jealous and/or envious about? I don’t like to admit it, but yeah, I get jealous sometimes. I’m human. It’s not the petty kind of jealousy, like someone has a bigger TV or a fancier car—I don’t care about that crap. What gets me is when I see people who seem to just… float through life. No second job.

Jealous of Peace, Not Possessions