Bitchshortage

Refs couldn’t suck the US dick harder if they were vacuums

I can go in for three things, leave with 15 and I’ve forgotten 2/3 of the only things I needed. At a certain point it becomes amazing.

i can't stand baby talk and don't think it aids in a child's development so in my house we call him Winnie The Excrement

Let’s go Slovakia, babes!!

Sorry he’s not fucking perfectly eloquent, I paid to vote him as party leader for a reason

I paid $10 to say yes to this man, and yes to this man

Avi Lewis on dealing with Trump tariff threats: "Well, first I'd call the two democratic socialists who have shared private meetings with Donald Trump, Claudia Sheinbaum in Mexico, and Zohran Mamdani from New York, and figure out how they charmed him, because that seemed to go incredibly well."

I am dying laughing, please continue to post the demonic angel lol

The dog with human eyes sitting between its two dog friends on a blue bench.

Me: that dog that eats souls has friends, mom.

Mom: what?

Me: that dog that eats souls has friends that sit with it.

Mom: good.

Pic of woman with eye patch adn long red hair with headline: NY woman detained attempting to ride a horse through subway, dressed as a pirate and handing out gold chocolate coins.

I could fix her. But why would I want to?

I think we can hit this goal today!

The way I was absolutely fuming when i finally got a Valium. Excuse me, I’m supposed to not give a fuck about anything and be having a great time whilst, and yet. I seem to give many fucks and I am NOT having a good time.

Sweet sugar dusted Christ that sounds amazing, soufflé French toast…I must have this. Cheesecake ice cream hybrid…i must also have this. Thank you, two new quests unlocked lol

Plate with a tabby cat “Tom kitten” wearing a blue shirt and pants, Beatrix potter illustration

Everything is a shit sandwich but if you come to my house I serve it to you on these plates *tom kitten on mushrooms fist bump*

Tantalizing…pls tell more of the treats im guessing a blueberry something on the end but it could be blackberry or a brand new thing I don’t even know about that I now need to eat immediately

“Is he still up there? NO NO DONT ACTUALLY LOOK, act natural. But he is though?”
Yup
“Still the thousand yard stare straight into the abyss”
Yup
“So it’s agreed. He can see straight into our souls and we must never look him in the eye?”
Yup
-the two dogs below

A dog at my dog’s daycare. I think it used to be human before it was cursed.

I’ve heard both “Fortunate Son” and “Born in the U.S.A.” played at various 4th of July events. I don’t think people actually understand words to songs, even if they are in their own language.

I definitely heard that to tune of the Lego movie song (curses to Chris Pratt), I still hate how much I love that movie. Honey, fr, where the fuck ARE my pants. Oh I found them never mind, I just had to say it out loud, I was looking right at them!

Sending love right back 💕

MOI? 🤗
Same though xoxo

Large cat splayed out on its back, tail betwixt the legs like a third leg or pardon me a giant dick

Surviving the shit show so far lol cunty, zero fucking patience but, still here. And my child is about to graduate high school (I know, what how rude excuse me fuck off no) and when the cat isn’t spotting ghosts he does this shit and the belly isn’t a trap. So there’s that. Honestly huge win.

Hello babe, love you too!!

Ugh fudge. Its a true kick in the dick to have to live in this reality and have a shit time on the side ❤️ here’s my cat seeing a ghost as a treat

I cackled and scared the cat

*Jafar voice* Farewell, Prince... Labubu.

It only serves as an exercise in humiliation. Edited text message: “haha you missed 4 errors and I autocorrected the recipients name to a slur when you went back in”

love you 💕💕 2026, don’t you give either of us new agonies. I’m watching you, I will go apeshit (unclear the consequences but. Just look out, year. I’ll find a way)

dealers choice, babe xoxox hope you’re doing okay it’s been a long time! But since you asked probably super pop shit so you can think this is a fun song wait what did she say?

It’s almost the ten year anniversary of my entire life being fucking destroyed by pain and then the medical establishment and it’s been fun to watch the entire world go from uh oh to oh shit we’re totally fucked during that tiiiiiiiime

Pretend I sang that like a cute little song.

a hot wheels car that looks like sashimi

get in losers. no time to explain