There are no greater lies in this world than ‘tear here to open’ and ‘push here to open’.

Ugh! Just realized it’s Friday the 13th and I haven’t even terrorized one teen! 😩

We need a term to replace “Missed Call”. I didn’t miss it, I saw the phone ring. I watched it continued to ring. I watched it stop ringing. It’s not a missed call, it’s working exactly as intended.

Sometimes getting older is just suddenly, and unbeckoned, remembering your grade-school bus driver.

Not me brushing my teeth in the kitchen so as not to disturb the cat sleeping in the bathroom sink.

Sometimes I think I’m cool, and then I remember I was just making up fluid dynamics test questions for fun.

There is still beauty in this world

I need Americans to hate this administration the way Kendrick hates Drake so they can actually stand a chance of surviving

I hope the police officers in this country who think MAGAs care about them are watching as MAGAs turn on federal law enforcement who dared to do their jobs in holding white supremacists accountable, and realize MAGAs actually only care about police as a tool of power against non-white communities.

Once upon a time. Now I’m just an appreciator.

Just still so blown away by how perfect Doechii’s Tiny Desk concert was. Such talent on display. Such a gift. Simply wonderful!

A good sentiment and yes, get that card. But also, use the card. Walking through the door of your local library and utilizing the available services (books and beyond) counts more than having the card. I used to work for the library — those numbers matter.

I can use a hideously sharp kitchen knife all day without incident, but can’t move a cheese grater without drawing blood 😓

You know it sounds just like Amazon to abuse an immigrant worker by paying them nothing, and yet expecting them to deliver to every house in the nation in a single night.

I’m sure it’s been suggested before, and I’m doubly sure I don’t know all the ramifications of this suggestion, but… Standard affordable fees for all lawyers. Why do we let wealthy individuals and corporation use their wealth to intimidate plaintiffs into withdrawing lawsuits?