new creative insult about myself

[🐾]

been a long while since cream's properly fronted but she's been especially active in my mind

i think she wants to front but i just
don't trust that there's a time where i can be not present rn

[🐾]

silence

[🐾]

no

[🐾]

countering horrific thoughts by being scarily pragmatic

[🐾]

that's
that's not just happened right

if it has just
don't worry about posting
go get a parent

uhh
if the eye's fallen out
cold water
wrap it in something
get to a doctor they should be able to reattach it

[🐾]

if you've already cut yourself, that's okay, don't make any more cuts
just focus on stemming the bleeding and remove whatever blade ur using later

[🐾]

nd
whatever you've just thrown just like
cover it up
blanket
pillow
paper
whatever

when you feel better, remove it from ur room

[🐾]

throw it across the room
now
make sure you don't hit anyone

[🐾]

scared again but
it should be okay

[🐾]

please don't do that

[🐾]

i can feel my mind pressing in on itself
not
now
not again
please
not again
dont
again
dont do it again

[🐾]

am i being made to watch as the world crumbles down

[🐾]

fear

I’d compare it to a vice of sorts,
But to make a comparison to
A behaviour of self destruction
While I know of the consequences
Is a pitiful claim, so I once again
Pray for a blessing of starlight.
And nobody answers.

And even if I get no response
A strange feeling still consumes me
Superposed in nature - a feeling
Of acceptance and crushing apathy
Distilled and flowing through
My veins like starlight.
And nobody answers.

I suppose this habit of mine
Might come from a feeling of
Isolation; as to why, I can’t truly say -
Maybe due to a frail old voice
In my head telling me to speak
Of memories of starlight.
And nobody answers.

When I feel hopeless
I have a tendency to
Fix my gaze on a point on
The horizon, and scream
Out for a response, hoping for
A blessing of starlight.
And nobody answers.

[🐾]

'Starlight'
- Tammie

[🐾]

impossible twinstruck balance

[🐾]

i have the wonderful ability to spiral whenever i think too hard about anything mildly sad
but when i try not to think at all i go into the worst dissociative episode of my life

what the fuck do i do

[🐾]

sometimes ignorance is bliss
sometimes it isnt

i love having to vibecheck the amount of time between dms

[🐾]

has the rose
wilted and rotted away

[🐾]

something is going on that im not privy to

possibilities going through my head at mach 10
knocking
trains of thought off their tracks
can’t think straight
worrying about the possible rather than the now
and the lack of information
im scared
everyone should be

are they both
marked
for
death
?

[🐾]

repression isn’t the way to go but
i understand why
as much as i can really

censor bars and prison bars are one and the same
just
remember that

[🐾]

censor bars and prison bars look the same from a distance
and from up close, i’d assume they act similar too

[🐾]

puppymoding seems less and less like a coping mechanism and more and more like relapsing

most of my mental breakdowns have forced me either partially or fully into that headspace before tearing me to shreds

its not a reliable way to ease the pain anymore

[🐾]

i dont deserve critical thinking do i

[🐾]

useless
stupid
pathetic
self-serving

just lobotomise me atp
id be happier as a dumbass dog than a person

[🐾]

thoughts about cutting
thank god i dont keep sharps in my room

otherwise there’d be a mantle of blood on the floor by now

[🐾]

if i ever decide to cut myself
i want the cuts uniform along my arm
perfectly spaced
equal length

so later
when the cuts have scabbed over
and healed
the scars will remind me that i did such a thing
with inhuman precision