not an art thief

i’m the go along to get along teacher but if you bang on my door like i’m your fucking servant we are going to have words dude, i served in the fucking navy and i didn’t let submarine commanders treat me like that. you are fifteen years old.

bombed a kid out of the water today, not proud of it.

i’m easy like sunday morning but dude showed up late and started banging on the door and i stormed across the room and said you bang on my door? you come to my house and bang on my door? whole class recoiled like oh shit, mister rogers is mad.

mister beast or whatever fucking weirdo you watch on youtube will personally give you tickets to whatever stupid shit you like, let’s say wrestlemania or whatever, your ass would be on time.

my all time teacher loses it moment was telling students “if i told you there would be a million dollars in a suitcase on a private jet and beyoncé just left jay z and she personally wants to hang with you if you get to school on time you would be on time. you just don’t care.”

they were like yeah

do you think any of us enjoy getting emails, it sucks shit dude. we all know. open it up.

yes your english teacher is dumber than dishwater and doesn’t do his/her/their job, not my problem. open your email.

i have decided my daily warm up activity will be forcing my students to check their email. i cannot drag my coworkers kicking and screaming into adulthood but by god i can control what i can control. open your fucking email and look at it.

child abuse takes many forms, you don’t have to shove your kid down a flight of stairs to be an abusive parent.

neglect is abuse

it’s actually carl weathers not mando but you get it

werner herzog: i would like to see the baby

mandalorian: it’s asleep

herzog: we will all be quiet

and that is the single greatest exchange in the history of star wars, it will never be topped

i am pretty not sad right now, which is novel

i try not to talk too much about ucla football because number one it is march and number two our program has been mediocre to bad for like a pretty decent amount of time but if i could tell you about what chesney is doing and the remaking of the program i would post like nine million times.

yeah let’s not blame drugs, drugs are great from what i have heard second hand

i would never give him the excuse of being awesome and doing drugs, he’s just a mess

if you sound really concussed every day it’s not a concussion your brain is damaged like forever

putting aside however bad he is it’s pretty clear fetterman is properly mentally fucked. like impaired, severely. i listened to a couple clips and he is full on fucked up.

bibi and trump have done more for antisemitism than a million shit kicking kentucky skinheads could ever dream of doing

absolutely phenomenal job, assholes

Tim, as your lawyer, keep posting that shit

a pollster could ask joe america if they support bombing a dairy queen in denmark and you’ll get like 35% saying yeah fuck it, fuck denmark, fuck dairy queen too

i see people are freaking out about 41% but that’s like super not good, the american people will generally support bombing anything anywhere

we’re fighting a war on war itself so in a sense if you are against this you are against peace

have i been huffing gasoline, that’s really not the point right now is it, war-lover

me: you know orwell said…

crowd: we know, boo, get new material

jim cramer says all is well and i fill my bathtub with water so my wife and i can survive for a few weeks on bathtub water

shit i have to hit costco like right now

go ahead and stockpile those condoms and gold bars, jim cramer says everything is cool

armed cops outside temple beth el in whatever city usa because the president simply cannot shut the fuck up

fucking shut the fuck up asshole. shut up!

of course he doesn’t care so there’s that

you can thank the president of the united states for saying out loud this is a war for israel, which absolutely nobody asked him to do.

the violence that will be visited upon american jews, and there will be violence, is because the president is a fucking loudmouth idiot.

you can tell it's fake because the president looks healthy and doesn't have a giant fucking rash on his neck

fairly below average in my opinion

it's not the "or whatever" it's the nazi tattoos. say those words out loud. the nazi tattoos.