MECO!

(Performatively and covertly signaling to potential vegan suitors that I am well adjusted and sane by mentioning that I take my b12 btw)

Taking my b12 supplement this morning and marvelling at the fact that life exists at all when if I as an organism don't happen to find this specific ass cobalt molecule my brain will decide to get a bunch of holes in it and die

I've changed my mind #RapePawbert

I will NOT be simping for the Israeli lynx pretender known as "Pawbert"

I WILL be plowing the endearing Alex Jones coded beaver RAW

Every morning that I wake up before sunrise I put on either public service broadcasting or the disco elysium soundtrack and decide whether I am a steely eyed missile man or a grizzled alcoholic detective about to get his life together, respectively

Things parents were wrong about:
-Employment
-Music
-Gay People

Things parents were right about:
-holy shit tomatoes are so fucking good man

American Socialism 🤝 Nuclear Spacecraft Propulsion

Back on the menu after 60+ years

A real shame what they did to Cuomo in the streets after the results last night but y'know when a majestic working animal breaks its leg it's just gotta be done quickly and humanely

How it feels to have a fractional moment in time where I can feel proud to be an American again

VIVE LE WOKISME

AND Zohran is going to win today this is absolutely historic we are drinking whiskey tonight doggies

DICK CHENEY IS DEAD AND JARED ISAACMAN'S NASA NOMINATION IS ALIVE

Between The Ferns style podcast called All Dick No Cheney and we film it at his grave

Bro are you really trying to grab my dick while I'm witnessing the Music of The Spheres

RFK chatbot but it does The Voice

I stand by these apps being a good thing to practice with, because you'll never need sharp flirting skills more than when you're at a bar with a member of the general public that knows that you bark during sex

Downside of using hinge: feels like trying to sext on linkedin

Upside of using hinge: scaring the hoes by subverting the artistic intentions of the generic photo prompts

ENORMOUS. HUGE. TOWERING.

I put my chud son in a taffy puller every day for a year and this happened

Grabbing the woke milk out of my fridge to make my gay latte and then pulling out a second, thinner, woker milk to make my gay cereal

Started carrying one of these around to take the edge off

not now hoe I'm playing bowmaster prelude

The taco bell drive through app (industry) and its consequences have been a disaster for the doggy race (me)

"I shouldn't stop using AI because corporations are going to blow up the planet anyway" is rick and morty levels of selfish "everything is chemicals" loser nihilism, and we should treat it as such when we encounter it

Accessing my genetic memory like assassin's creed in order to write more generic bisexual man indie rock

catching up!

If you have a soft hole and give off grungey vibes like you live in the woods: hello hey hi there <3

One time when I met this bottom on a con elevator and got him back to my room he nonchalantly cleaned out with a plastic water bottle that was lying around. It was embarrassingly hot

YouTube video by AZ Desert Critters Coyote pack of 6 hootin’ and hollerin’ in camera view

It all makes sense now

youtu.be/peK7167CsGU?...