amanda

this actually isn’t even funny anymore

my therapist asked me today why i’ve never been in a relationship and it turns out that saying “the idea of coming home to a random man in my house who thinks he can tell me how to spend my money and never leaves makes me want to kill myself” is not the answer she was expecting

therapy has been a really fun way to learn that 98% of my personality is an amalgamation of trauma responses and the other 2% is just being a bitch

literally in shambles rn lol i’m going to bed

my trip got canceled lmaoo why do i try to do anything

and no one seems to understand the gravity of it. i need help and i don’t know what else to do. i don’t want to get that bad again but i can feel it happening and its scary

i wake up every morning in a blind panic, i cry at least twice a day, i ask for referrals or send networking emails and they all go ignored, i use a tailored resume and cover letter for everything and nothing is working. nothing at all. i’m on the cusp of a genuine nervous breakdown

i don’t know much but i do know that i was very cute in my minnidip today

i hate everyone and everything and i hate compromising and i hate understanding and i hate finding a happy medium and i hate being the bigger person. i hate it all. i am tired of constantly being upset and nothing ever happening the way it’s supposed to and i esp hate being brushed off about it

you are more than welcome, my
mom would love to cook with you

i’m working on turning my dad’s backyard workshop into a guest space and when it’s done you’re more than welcome to come vibe. has electricity, fridge, heat, air, internet, tv, a sleeper couch, and like 8 of his guitars you can play

i’m crashing out so violently like my actual dad is dead and this may actually be more upsetting to me. they took my peepaw. the peoples peepaw. our peopaw.

i hate everyone and i’m tired of compromising

you make time for what’s important to you and excuses for what isn’t 🤷🏻‍♀️

i went to the grocery store today and bought a bottle of wine and i have to say the lack of hesitation with which the checkout girl hit the age override button was borderline offensive

i always wear flats bc i’m 5’8 but i had a horrible week n treated myself to a very cute pair of platform wedge sandals that i wanted to try. they give me another ~3in. i am scaring the hell out of 6 feet tall in them. i feel like an amazonian goddess

2025 is really underestimating how quickly and easily i will slit my own throat with literally zero hesitation

911 was god tier tonight i’ve been crashing out all evening

me, crawling back up the 118’s collective asshole: I LOVE WHAT YOU’VE DONE WITH THE PLACE

my entire abdomen has hurt all day and i have a fever :)

“my weirdest hear me out is mongo from shrek 2”
“yeah?”
“yeah he seems like a gentle lover”
“like he’d talk you through it?”
“exactly like that”

rip jeremy louden is the gc to end all gcs

Once again here to remind people to get yourselves friends like mine

plaster repair and painting is happening next week! replacing the shitty molding too! this house will be a vision!!

hey everyone but mostly @mmmbrownies.bsky.social i got my hardwoods refinished this week and it’s going to be my personality for the foreseeable future. they’re original to the house which was built in 1952 and were covered with carpet for 30+ years. i am going to cry

i got out of breath walking from the car into the restaurant for dinner and the waitress asked me if i was okay 💀

taste

anemia is so embarrassing bc why did i just get out of breath putting my hair up

Get yourself a friend like @eastsidewidow.bsky.social

boop (also taking ideas for new user names bc new social media new me)