No Substitutions, Please

I usually don’t like to indulge the ironic guiltposting I constantly see here, but the fact is most of y’all missed out on a super fun time.

That’s OK. Same time next year, more or less.

And if you have cash lying around, we’re still happy to take your donation:
nosubsplease.org/1st-annual-n...

Fully admit that I’m hiding this midthread so most people don’t see it, but next time you want to shit on Mastodon, I want you to consider this:

63% of our funds raised are from Mastodon.
29% are from people we know in real life.
Despite having the largest theoretical base, BlueSky only put up 8%.

When we started the 1st Annual @nosubsplease.org Triviathon Fundraiser, my goal was to put my ability to be supremely annoying at the service of feeding people.

Which is exactly what I did, and boy, did people validate that. We raised nearly $4,500 for food banks in 21 areas—and we’re not done yet!

A daily report of the NSP fundraiser for November 25—stream day! 33 organizations in 19 states (AL, CA, DE, FL, GA, IL, MI, MN, NV, NJ, NY, NC, ND, PA, RI, TX, TN and WA), one territory (PR) and DC are pledged, up to a potential maximum of $4,016, calculated by multiplying 66 possible correct answers by the average of the two contestants' pledges per right answer. (This is with Noah matching $500 of donations—which is why we want you to do even better!) Louisa's lead is holding: she's at $49 per right answer. Noah is at $42. In very translucent text, on the back, you can see the list of organizations that have received pledges: American Indian Center of Chicago, Capital Area Food Bank, City Harvest, El Comedor de la Kennedy, Community Loving, Denton Community Food Center, Feeding America, Food Bank of Delaware, Food Bank of Central & Eastern North Carolina, Food Bank of North Alabama, Food Bank of South Jersey, Food Bank of the Southern Tier, Food Closet Carson Valley, Food Gatherers, Foodlink Rochester, Forgotten Harvest, Greater Chicago Food Depository, Houston Food Bank, Irondequoit Community Cupboard, Neighborhood House, Never Alone, North Texas Food Bank, Northlands Rescue Mission, Oregon Food Bank, Perinton Food Shelf, Pike Market Food Bank, Rhode Island Community Food Bank, Second Harvest Food Bank of Central Florida, Second Harvest Food Bank of Nashville, Southside Community Garden of Asheville, State College Food Bank, St. Lucy's Food Pantry and the INN.

GENTE:
In 95 minutes, Louisa and I go head-to-head in the 1st Annual NSP Triviathon Fundraiser, raising money for food banks with every question we answer correctly. Help us do even better!

We're taking pledges on stream! I will read a poem!

Fun begins at 7:00 PM EST:
www.twitch.tv/lnpgaceta

The widest grin any being on Earth has ever registered, courtesy of floofball Clark, who is currently getting bidirectional pets while his tongue hangs out in spoiled excitement. He is *so* happy. His ears are lowered in love and happiness. His eyes are joyfully round. This could not be a happier dog if he had every treat in the house.

Minerva, our dilute tortie, stares at a nutcracker she is 100000% about to smack and get yelled at. Her wonderfully soft and pretty face is full of impish delight in the violence she is about to inflict, her eyes wide with MURDER.

For the new org we picked up, and for Georgia joining the fundraiser, here’s some especially emblematic pictures of Clark and Minnie.

Do you want more of these? Guess what: donate more, add more states, and you can see more of these wonderful babies!

nosubsplease.org/1st-annual-n...

I have good news and bad news.

Good news: we hit our goal! Man, y'all really, *really* wanted me to read a poem on air, huh?

Bad news: that that's only if we can answer all 66 questions—so I'll keep pushing!

How much further can we go in 23 hours? Let's find out:
nosubsplease.org/1st-annual-n...

With two days left, *if* Louisa and I manage to get every single question right, and with my matching the first $500, we've beaten my old record of raising $3,317.

But I want to feed people even more than that, and we're not perfect. So help us! Donate! Boost away!

nosubsplease.org/1st-annual-n...

My tortie Minerva’s gray face, under a red bag, peeks out between two slats of a dining chair.

My handsome dog Clark looks somewhat concerned and alert as he stands on the kitchen floor.

Of course I didn’t forget! One more state and one more organization means one more picture of each of my beautiful pets.

And remember—if we hit that $3,317 number, I’ll randomly select a donor and read a poem of their choice on stream!

What are you waiting for?
nosubsplease.org/1st-annual-n...

I just took some of the best Minnie pictures ever. There are 34 states left to light up on the board.

You all get to enjoy a Minnie picture every time we get a new state to participate.

Capisce? Then fill out the form and let's get some cat pics on the timeline:
nosubsplease.org/1st-annual-n...

Minnie, my beautiful dilute tortie cat—a rich dark gray with latte swirls marking her right eye, her chin; and down her body—looks concernedly up at the camera, her hazel eyes on full display.

Minnie, happy as she lies on her cat bed, getting head pets from me.

And to celebrate Nevada and Minnesota becoming part of our fundraiser, here’s two pictures of Minnie!

If we hit goal—and I’ll say we’re still $1,000 away—I’ll randomly select a donor and read a poem of their choice during the stream, just three days away!

Again:
nosubsplease.org/1st-annual-n...

As promised, three pictures of Clark, for the three new organizations to which people have pledged.

Want more pictures of Clark? Donate to our fundraiser! One picture per new organization!
nosubsplease.org/1st-annual-n...

Four days left, and I already owe y'all three pics of Clark and two of Minerva, which is just about the best problem I could be having.

I'll get back to y'all later tonight with those, but you could always take the next two hours to get those numbers up!

nosubsplease.org/1st-annual-n...

If, by the grace of God and the kindness of strangers, we hit our goal—my current triviathon record of $3,317—I will select one random donor and, during the fundraiser, dramatically read a poem they choose.

So get it done! Five days left to make it happen!
nosubsplease.org/1st-annual-n...

With five days left until our fundraiser, and despite Louisa's and my best efforts, we're still not where we want to be.

So we're busting out the big guns.

For each new organization you pledge for, I'll post a Clark pic.
For each new state, I'll post a Minnie pic.

nosubsplease.org/1st-annual-n...

One week left! We've added another org, another state, and another few dozen dollars.

Will you be the first from your state? Seven days until Louisa and I compete to answer 66 trivia questions and—hopefully—raise lots of money for food banks across the States!
nosubsplease.org/1st-annual-n...

Gente, if you tried to donate overnight, we ran into some technical difficulties with those dastardly WPForms and, as a result, did not receive your kind entry.

Could we trouble you to try again?

nosubsplease.org/1st-annual-n...

Day 5:
I'm sure there are English words that express my gratitude, but it's late, I'm tired, and I don't have them just now.

This is wonderful—but we'd have to get all 66 questions right for that, and I want to get food banks as much money as possible.

So help me do that!
forms.gle/r3ynDhqFbVqP...

Day 4: I know I speak for my co-host when I say we are blown away by the incredible generosity our donors have shown.

I do *not,* however, speak for her when I say that I would really like to catch up to her lead!

Help me get a little closer, won't you? Pledge here:
forms.gle/3tyNjyrfrQwV...

You know, I expected to see a bit of a jump in Day 2.

I did not expect to see this. Our potential max is up to nearly $700, before matching!

So why not join us? Just twelve days until Louisa and I go head-to-head to raise money for local food banks across the US:
forms.gle/VtgTXMHooaY8...

By the end of Day 1, our wonderful donors have pledged a potential max of almost $200 for food banks in their areas—and that's before any matching we do!

Join us! 13 days left until Louisa and I go head to head to help feed people this Thanksgiving:
forms.gle/VtgTXMHooaY8...

Details below!

Hello! No Substitutions, Please have done a lot to support this bean project so please go support them!

Plus, in the spirit of @adapalmer.bsky.social, I'm matching the first $500 in donations.

So what are you waiting for? Sign up, pledge some money, and in two weeks from today you can have an absolute blast watching two nerds get outrageously competitive about food trivia!

I just signed up for $1 per right answer from either Noah or Louisa. If some of my followers do the same, I’ll match up to an extra $5/point.

Announcement poster for our 1st annual No Substitutions, Please fundraiser, which centers on a wreath crowned with food. Clockwise from the top; pumpkin pie, mac & cheese, biscuits, brussels sprouts, an ear of corn, rosemary, roasted sweet potatoes, parsley, a blue bowl of cranberry sauce, green beans, thyme, stuffing, a roast turkey leg, mashed potatoes with gravy, sage. The information: Who? Your favorite co-hosts, Noah and Louisa. When? Tuesday, November 25th, 7:00 PM Eastern. Where? Livestream on Twitch: @LNPGaceta. Why? To raise money for local food banks.

ANNOUNCING:
The 1st Annual No Substitutions, Please Thanksgiving Fundraiser!

Louisa and I will go head-to-head answering 66 trivia questions. We're asking people to pledge money for their local food banks for each one we get right.

Want to participate? Check out the form:
forms.gle/WSbvEkrJACxA...

The Laws of Preservation | No Substitutions, Please Get more from No Substitutions, Please on Patreon

Why should you join the NSP Patreon?

Among other things, you could be reading @nsmckinnon.bsky.social's thoughts on how making syrups in the summer turns you into, basically, the master of Nature.

Sound interesting?
www.patreon.com/posts/laws-o...

Get more from No Substitutions, Please on Patreon A show about food—and the things people do to it.

Foodies, gourmets, all who cook whether for pleasure or honor:

We're launching a Patreon!

- $3/month gets you articles,
- $5/month gets you 2 patron-only episodes a month,
- $10/month gets you voting power in our polls.

(All tiers include Discord access.)

Details:
www.patreon.com/nosubsplease

Our newest episode is out on all podcatchers!

Louisa and Noah tackle that most decadent of rice dishes: risotto. We talk about tricks to cut down on the workload, liken some commenters to types of drivers, and go off on tangents about DVD piracy.

#food #cooking

nosubsplease.org/podcast/epis...

Great grains cereal value size at 17oz

Great grains regular size at 19oz

You've heard of shrinkflation, now get ready for gaslightflation where the value size is smaller than the regular size

The futuristic city from the "how society would look" / "the world if" meme.

Society, if Louisa and @nsmckinnon.bsky.social learned to have their pre-recording conversations while actually on air.