Ashley Amber Sava

More mad about CapCut, tbh

And so it begins…

Does the disappearance of TikTok accidentally reveal a generation’s complete inability to function without hyper-specific algorithms feeding them their personality?

Reality check: Change doesn’t care about dates. Growth happens when you finally get sick enough of your own BS to do something about it. And that doesn’t require confetti, a countdown, or some “Vision Board 2025” workshop.

Happy New Year

Fresh off a kill.

And all because we refused to just use the damn em dash.

The war on em dashes isn’t about AI. It’s about us. About the fact that we’re all so terminally online that we’d rather perform being human than actually be human.

Yikes.

6. Eventually, we ditch words entirely. Emojis make a comeback, but not in a cute way. Full Shakespearean soliloquies are conveyed through strings of 🍆💀🙌🔥😭. Nobody understands anyone else. Wars are declared over misinterpreted group chats. Society collapses.

“No robot cud write like dis!!!!1” becomes the battle cry of the terminally cringe. Nobody knows what anyone else is saying, but we all agree it’s VERY authentic.

5. The anti-AI aesthetic gets worse
You thought Comic Sans memes were bad? Oh, honey. People now go out of their way to sound disjointed. Professional emails read like this: “pls update file idk re: ur idea maybe thx lol. btw pizza nxt wk????”

4. AI adapts and humans spiral
As we contort ourselves to avoid sounding robotic, AI evolves to sound exactly like us. “H*ckin doggo vibes uwu” gets spat back by ChatGPT 12.0 with eerie accuracy. Humans, meanwhile, regress to grunting at each other over Zoom calls.

3. Writers go feral. They smuggle em dashes back into their work, but subtly—hidden in the margins like acts of rebellion. Others take it too far, plastering entire novels with nothing but em dashes, creating unreadable monstrosities. This book is an 80,000-word sentence and it’s ART, you cowards!

2. Punctuation becomes a weird status symbol
The em dash goes underground, traded in seedy corners of the net like black-market Fabergé eggs. People who still use it are either reckless or rebels. Subreddits form: r/em_dash_saviors for the purists, r/dashholes for the ironic trolls.

1. Everyone’s writing looks like a ransom note
No punctuation looks human, so people remove it entirely. Sentences bleed into each other, like a drunken confession or a manifesto found in a serial killer’s cabin. Your manager’s messages look like they were scrawled on the inside of a bathroom stall.

You abandon grammar altogether.

The fallout is tremendous. Here are my 2025 predictions…

They’re now the scarlet letter of the generative AI era—a bright, blinking sign that screams “This wasn’t written by a human!"

Instead, you scramble. You fumble with clunky semicolons. You misuse ellipses like some deranged 2012 Facebook mom posting cryptic messages about “what you did last summer…

You hover over the keyboard, ready to deploy the big guns: an em dash. The sexiest punctuation mark of all. A linguistic power move. But you pause. You delete. You can’t risk it. Not because it’s wrong, but because it’s too right.

Why? Because in 2024, em dashes have been canceled…

It was just a stunt…

www.livemint.com/companies/ye...

Real email from YesMadam…

Need to drop 10 pounds FAST? Chop off your head. You'll be dead, but you will have accomplished your goal.

It's that kind of energy.

2025 isn’t just coming—it’s squatting. And Mocha Mousse is here to remind you that sometimes, beige is just the universe taking a dump on your dreams. #pantone

Ordered an Uber to pick up my mother-in-law and couldn’t help but think of how hilarious it would be if Richard here went by Dick.

The perfect gift for Lorelai? Coming right up 🎁☕️ Follow your faves from #GilmoreGirls back to #StarsHollow and relive the magic this holiday season.​ TikTok video by Walmart

Yesterday, I was minding my own business (a.k.a. doomscrolling), when a Walmart ad—a Walmart ad!—ambushed me in the most unholy, unexpectedly delightful way possible.
#gilmoregirls #advertising

Say no more.

Cheating on our bed with my daughter’s. #cats

Deck the halls with vague goals and "we'll reconnect in Q1" lies. Pour some potent eggnog, crank up the out-of-office replies and remember: “Let’s get this done before the holidays” is a festive way of saying, “I will make this your problem while I disappear for two weeks.”

Mercy Kill Your Online Persona | Chronically Online Magazine

Yes! We can choose to NOT have it all. This article describes how I burnt down a toxic career and online persona in favor of building connections with those who don't:

- deliver fatly-veiled insults
- take advantage of others
- threaten to put me in jail

@ashleyambersava.bsky.social

'Tis the season of:
Let's close the loop before EOW=I’m lighting this dumpster fire and yeeting it directly into your lap.
Let’s expedite this to hit the Q4 deliverables= Summon elves to magically un-f*** the timeline I broke.
Adding this to the backlog for 2025=This will never see the light of day.

Someone had a lot of fun on that “Instead Of” list. 😂

I keep hearing about thirtysomethings hosting Thanksgiving, and I’m like, how? What witchcraft gave you hosting rights? In our families, you’re not considered for a major holiday until you’re a grandparent—or never. It’s more of a you’ll pry the gravy boat out of my cold, dead hands situation.

I want to have several stern words with the person responsible for the sugar wafers packaging. There is no responsible or reasonable way to open this. 🫠

a person is holding a white plate with a jelly on it . ALT: a person is holding a white plate with a jelly on it .

Them: “Why did you bring that jellied Ocean Spray cranberry sauce? My cranberry sauce is homemade—REAL cranberries! Seems like we misplaced the can opener anyway…”
Clapback: “Oh, is that why it tastes like a lumpy, bitter punishment? Don’t worry, I brought a backup can opener. Stay mad.”