MostSmartest

I just played blackjack next to a man in a tuxedo named Alfonse Lacroix. I’m not ruling out the possibility that I unknowingly died and the afterlife is just an Agatha Christie novel.

Honestly, who did they hire as producers on this new season of Project Runway? Did they travel back to the early 2000s to attend the Simon Cowell School of Outdated Mean Girl Behavior, or are they just boomers who haven't worked in reality television since then?

"I get wet."

I’ve been blasting Rep while getting ready this morning, and my friends’ dog (who we are dogsitting) has been thwacking his tail practically on beat through several songs now. Murray is a Swiftie.

The following sentence just left my mouth: “oh, I can’t that day. I have mahjong in the morning and then I’m going to pickleball.” Turns out I am 1,000 years old.

I will unapologetically be in clown makeup until the AMAs after Look What You Made Me Do (Taylor’s Version) was featured in the episode of The Handmaid’s Tale that dropped today 🐍🤡

I cut off a cyber truck in the Costco parking lot. Doing the Lord’s work.

Butt dust in the wind.

I’ve been slowly returning to butt dust for yeeeears.

I don't particularly tend to like sports or TV shows centered around sports. But I started Running Point on Netflix because the cast is so impressive, and...it's pretty good, folks. 📺

I learned how to play Pickleball tonight, so you can now officially consider me “sporty.”

I like the musical more than I like the movie if that helps.

Owning a Tesla must be so embarrassing now.

LMK when you get back up to season 4 and I’ll join in. I still haven’t seen that one.

The North welcomes you.

I Fucked My Way Into This Mess, And I'll Fuck My Way Out

I Fucked My Way Into This Mess, And I'll Fuck My Way Out
theonion.com/i-fucke...

I'm in ABC territory here and always loved having you as a classic version hookup. I'll be watching this thread 😂

Twirling the phone cord around your finger while you talk to your bestie. Pulling up the antenna on a cordless phone.

"HOW DARE YOU RECORD THIS CONVERSATION" the RHOSLC cast screams at one of their own, on a bus outfitted with cameras recording everything happening from multiple angles.

It's been said before, but is worth repeating as we approach a time of continued holiday family togetherness: if someone is able to insist you call them Gam Gam or Pop Pop instead of grandma/grandpa, they're neither too old nor too traditional to use the correct name and pronouns for someone else.

I am both desperate to participate in jury duty AND desperate to dress like Princess Leia and say "I don't think it's fair for me to serve on a jury because I'm a hologram" like Liz Lemon. And I can't decide which is more pressing.

Meanwhile, me: "ew, I already talk to the only person from high school I ever need to talk to again. Delete."

Listen, eating leafy greens that taste bad but that I know won't poison me makes me feel superior to regular lettuce-eaters. Let me have this.

Hilaria Baldwin Deported -The Onion

Hilaria Baldwin Deported
theonion.com/hilaria-bald...

YouTube video by ArianaGrandeVevo Ariana Grande - thank u, next (Official Video)

Today's adventures in late-stage capitalism got me like: youtu.be/gl1aHhXnN1k?...

Yes! Top faves:
Both of the Cerulean Chronicle books by TJ Klune
Monstrilio by Gerardo Sámano Córdova
There There by Tommy Orange
Wandering Stars by Tommy Orange
Lone Women by Victor LaValle
Yellowface by RF Kuang
Babel by RF Kuang
The Broken Earth trilogy by NK Jemisin
James by Percival Everett

I'm close to hitting 52 for the year, which is about 45 more than I've read in a single year since college.