Danielle Sepulveres

Hot damn Canada

Guarantee he would make some sort of preemptive announcement like “only American teams are invited to the White House!” To avoid the embarrassment of the Blue Jays saying they didn’t want to go

Just think how mad he will be if the Blue Jays win the World Series now

I’ve watched The Crow twice this week already and I will never get tired of Brandon Lee saying “and I say I’m dead…and I move.”

Might fuck around, put on some Netflix and watch Pacey and Joey fall in love again

Just because he's acting like he's never leaving is no reason for you to act like he's never leaving.

It does somehow sum everything up neatly. Trashy vulgarian unilaterally decides to tear up an iconic American building as though it’s one of his tacky private clubs, rather than a national monument he has very temporarily (and foolishly) been permitted to inhabit.

Every time I have thought about it all day I start snort laughing all over again

I wish I was screen recording the Teams call I was on this morning when my dog leaped off my bed momentarily piercing through the virtual background image and scaring the shit out of everyone on the call

Like I’ve always said, my tweets were always off the record

It’s clear at pretty much every turn that none of these people have any experience with anything they’re doing and are just playacting what they’ve seen in movies.

It’s a government run by people whose experience amounts to the “I’m not a doctor but I stayed at a Holiday Inn last night” ads.

Literally anyone could do his job 1000x times better

i see you're doing something online that you have effortlessly done 100,000 times. would you like to use this ai tool? would you like to use this ai tool? would you like to use this ai tool? would you like to use this ai tool? would you like to use this ai tool? would you like to use this ai tool? w

One of my least rational beliefs is that if you pull off a heist without hurting anyone or getting caught within a day, that's your stuff fair and square.

This photo accompanying a news story about the heist at the Louvre is perfection.

Every time someone describes an athlete as “old,” they are 6 years younger than you.

Sports tonight

Fountain soda at 8:30pm was a mistake

Brewers are toast

Let me know if you caught a glimpse of me on Elsbeth tonight. I like to think of myself as the Greg Grunberg of Robert and Michelle King TV shows

I’m so excited!!

Are we all gonna watch the Dodgers continue to beat the hell out of the Brewers tonight

Loling that I legit started a trend today

Recession-Plagued Nation Demands New Bubble To Invest In

Recession-Plagued Nation Demands New Bubble To Invest In https://theonion.com/recession-plagued-nation-demands-new-bubble-to-invest-i-1819569940/

In the fall my straight dude friends get excited about the return of tights and skirts and boots while I revel in the man with broad shoulders peacoat season

A brief open letter to RFK Jr.’s mistresses It’s well established now that RFK Jr. is a quack. A crank. An angry uninformed man who can’t defend any of his stances in Congressional…

With a certain person’s return from “exile” I must once again share the open letter I wrote that got rejected from Shouts & Murmurs that was meant for RFK Jr.’s mistresses

medium.com/@ellesep/a-b...

a man says " you keep using that word i do not think it means what you think it means " to another bald man ALT: a man says " you keep using that word i do not think it means what you think it means " to another bald man

Me turning into Mandy Patinkin

There’s no way that book contains anything more than what could have been said in two texts in the group chat

Unsolicited Nick pic

AI: No dogs cannot play chess in the human sense because

Google is killing my industry so it can be coy about dogs’ chess abilities