Linda Holmes

(I could say I’m sorry but you’d know I was lying)

I just realized I should definitely have written a reply that said

I don’t have a horse, of course, of course
And I am not storing a horse, of course
Much less a course of liquid horse
For rebooting Mr. Ed

You are both completely fine! I’m so glad you had such a lovely exchange.

Aaaaaaaaaaaagggghhhhhh

I mean, what are we storing, and what happens if the fees are not paid? IS A LEGACY LOST??

For a long time, there was an organization in the UK that always notified me when the pool was closed.

Random misdirected emails are part of my life. So when I got a thing about storage fees meant for someone else (it comes from what seems to be a real legit business), I was ready to ignore it.

But it turns out this business inseminates horses, and I feel some responsibility to tell them.

Right. He just thinks they sound stupid. (I also always STRONGLY suspect that there is both anti-woman and anti-young-person sentiment in these complaints, because they’re really ridiculous, and often that means there’s some bias-related silliness afoot.)

It IS.

You know what a compliment it is.

Scott, your devotion to Peach is truly your Myles Empty Coffee Cup thing. Everyone should have one.

Yes. This is the other thing. This is “why do socks vanish in the dryer”-level Seinfeld-ian business.

Exactly! There are options other than writing an op-ed every time you don’t like something.

Right. I mean it’s what Starbucks is for. They do customized drinks by having baristas who know how to efficiently combine x number of elements into a-gazillion-times-x number of possible drinks. That’s what specialty coffee is. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to go there!

Boy, there’s a pithy thing right there, yes.

This is exactly right. This is a very simple case of “I am annoyed; thus the thing that is annoying me is harmful.”

I get you.

Also … usually in my experience, the counter person gets my drip coffee when I do that, rather than putting me into the queue. In which case I’m not waiting for all the latte people anyway, I’m just getting my coffee when I’m rung up.

The coffee orders he’s talking about are not analogous to this. They are just items that are on the menu: drinks you get made with the milk you choose and the syrup you choose.

Moreover, every drink is being made individually to order anyway.

Right—and I think people should be tolerant of that and accommodate when they can! But you’re not out here being like “actually loud talking is bad for society.”

Here’s a gift link; it is exactly what you think it is though. bsky.app/profile/cruf...

If being driven mad by somebody else’s coffee order is your little weirdsie that you need to make space for, that’s fine. You’re not alone. The answer is not to go to a specialty coffee place.

I don’t like people squeaking balloons, but I’m not going to pretend they’re hurting society.

This is unbearably goofy. An order at the counter at McDonald’s has a good chance of being just as customized than a specialty coffee order. If you order a specific kind of burger, fries of a particular size, and a drink, you’re making as many specifications as “grande iced vanilla latte.”

Believe me when I tell you: I’ve tried many many things. 🙂

I have a real fondness for strategic legal politeness that is backed up with teeth. And, I will say, I was very good at it.

Yes, but … also, saying you are presuming regularity and actually presuming regularity are not *always* entirely the same thing.

With a little bit of “If you’re reading this, notice I am extending all possible benefit of the doubt, so you know that you can trust me when I am forceful in what I choose to be forceful about.”

Oooh, I did this all the time as an appellate lawyer. “Presumably, appellant’s misrepresentation of the record is inadvertent, but we note” blah blah.

It is a choice.

Blood from a turnip.

It’s a great example of how Google will tell you that you absolutely cannot allow an imperfect situation to exist when, in fact, you can.