🔞 Enigmatic.obj | Bird-Brained + Owner 🐦🐾

I think I'm beginning to understand a bit more.

Sorry mum, the only men I'm attracted to are fictional.

Ofc I'm frightened. I'm scared of everything & never did much. But if I don't give it push back, even if I freak out, I'll never give it a try.

I'm unlearning a lot & also learning a lot right now. It's a bit daunting, a bit overwhelming.

But, I want to do this 💜

I'm excited to see where this goes. But FUCK am I nervous.

I've got some serious demons.
I want them gone, I don't know where to start or how to quash them.

But I want them wiped out SOO bad so I'll stop being worried.

It said it itself, we are in it for the long run. I'm holding onto that 💜

So.
I'm gonna stay mono for now. My special is off trying out whatever makes it happy & just not keeping me in the dark or discarding me like my fears say will happen again.

That's all I want. I want it happy.
I'm still on edge but, I don't want it to be sad.

It's my everything. Forever & always x

So I tried apps & an irl date/hook up. Just to try it, since my special is already having success I may as well dip my toes in too?

I hated it.
So so much.
I was so unhappy & uncomfortable.

I was so frightened I'd let it down or pushed it away. But, I can't lie & say I was happy-

All the fear I had, started to well up & grab me by the balls. Hard. I started crying most nights, terrified it would only lead to what I want to make happy, vanish again.

I didn't realise quite how deep rooted it all was.

Nothing was settling it. I was definitely driving my special nuts with it-

A few nurses said I was insanely lucky to get away with JUST a concussion.

While I was having a CT scan, I had an epiphany.

I don't want to keep my special unhappy & I liked being open too when it worked nicely. It was lovely.

I opened up to it & we made changes + motions to being poly again-

Frightened of history repeating itself, I got overly protective. Terrified that 1 wrong move & I'd lose my special all over again.

But, it wasn't fully happy... It wanted to stay open & try again, I was too scared.

It respected my decision for years.

Then a week ago(?), I got a head injury-

Alright. Here goes-

A long time ago, I tried to be polyamorous.

It was lovely, until 1 part of it went VERY south, hurt me, hurt the other & it all fell apart VERY nastily.

I lost something incredibly important & special... It broke me.

Eventually, the special thing came back-

Am I okay to be cringe and vulnerable for a moment?

girl that cums on you

I'm terrified of becoming it. I'm trying to not do the same but man, am I frightened.

I really don't feel good after today, I'm left really shaken and uncomfortable.

But, I'm glad I tried.
It's helped me formulate a path forward.

Wear the lead for me?
Of course you will, cause you're such a good girl.

Glad you like it sweetpea 💜💜💜💜✨

Something something... Idk, oily tit noises.

I know it's 100% not how shit works but I wish that if I do have to have my thyroid removed, they could maybe while I'm under, whip out my uterus and ovaries as a little treat.

Random kink I learned I was into is dronification and complete blankness. I don't mean for me or anything, but I get so wet seeing a cutie completely blank and empty. A docile smile on their face as they answer all my questions with complete honesty. Not even a person anymore, just a doll~

Idk, I'm just oddly proud of myself for finally overcoming such a huge and rather embarrassing personal hurdle.

Been training myself at puppy's demand to finally be able to fuck. Properly. I've always struggled & had issues with it so this is kinda a huge deal?

Anyway;
I can fuck now, without pain \o/
& take a fair size.

Doesn't mean you get to touch it though 🫵
It's for my puppy's pleasure ONLY~

The bird in my head wishes to say; hi :>

Oh! Hello darling~ >:3c

Sometimes, the thought of marking my partner permanently with my teeth or nails & fucking them so ferally to mind breaking point that nothing else can compare so they always remember their place as "mine", crosses my mind~

God, if only I slept walked~ Most I do is talk Dx

Nip nops 👀

CW: Hyper/Giant

Another piece for my dear @pheebs.is-extremely.gay 💜✨

#ocsky #sizesky

CW: Hyper/Giant

Another piece for my dear @pheebs.is-extremely.gay 💜✨

#ocsky #sizesky

Tidying this account up, it's supposed to be for art, not for my rambles and I think I've overwhelmed it Dx

Also, new size piece coming soon 👀