Eggland's Worst

It's not in this article but the government asserts that the sandwich was thrown at "point blank range", which implies subway sandwiches have defined effective weapon ranges of varying lethality, and I would like to see the government's chart of these ranges.

I do have a litmus test for my candidates now and it's that I want them to be genuinely pissed off, not pretend pissed off

aim for the jugular

It's no coincidence that the only two hobbies men have (gaming and sports) include being constantly pissed off

The Aquarium Is Empty and Yoshi Refuses To Show Us What’s in His Mouth

Start Tearing Down Drywall Because You’re Still Not Sure if That “Trapped Inside the Walls” Business Was Literal

Guinan, from television's "The Next Generation" series is pictured. She's on Ten Forward and looks amused. She's wearing a green and purple robe outfit and a tall hat that that wraps around the head and then forms a shape above, it's hard to describe. You know those big ships on the ocean that have that dolphin nose shaped kind of deal that protrudes out in front but under the surface and you'd never know they were there except you saw a video once of a shipping yard where they put the boat in and thought "wow, it's interesting to see what the underside looks like"? Her hat kind of looks like that protuberance, but also not really. Anyways, she's wearing a cool shaped hat. Closed caption reads, "Frankenstein was his name."

Star Trek DS9 scene! We're looking at Odo, but it's as if he's been dead for 3 years and then we dug him back up. Clothing is disintegrated and gross and torn. His face and hands, also gross and tearing and flaky and weathered and dark and gross. Kind of looks like a zombie. He's clutching himself and sitting against a wall. Closed caption reads, "Isn't this what you've been dreaming of?"

🎃

Star Trek The Next Generation scene. Pic 1: Crusher stands alone in a large storage room filled with many plastic bagged dead bodies laying on tables. Pic 2: Close up on Crusher looking serious, closed caption reads: [SHEET RUSTLES] Pic 3: Camera shot further out, showing three of the bagged bodies now sitting straight up behind Beverly. Picture 4: View panned out even further to show the larger room and all bodies previously laying flat are now sitting straight up.

Alt in pic 1, MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Alt in pic 1, RAWWWRRRRRRRRRR!

Alt in pic 1, BOOO!

Star Trek The Original Series scene. A female starfleet officer in blue uniform is pictured clinging to the wall of a corridor on the Enterprise. Behind her, two shadows lurk. Also, she has NO FACE! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAGAGAHAG

🎖Runner up 3: Daniel Mihálik ($250)

WILSON!

We were pleasantly surprised by how often Wilson showed up across submissions; we loved seeing him so often! This piece captures the action of Selaco wonderfully, especially for those brave enough to escort Wilson to safety

🎖 Runner up 2: @drdubz.bsky.social ($250)

Not only is it a great composition with a dynamic pose, but the added text commenting on Selaco's meta gameplay was a nice touch. We recall that being added later as a resubmission.

Great work!

(Runner-ups are in no particular order)

🎖Runner up 1: danvo_410 ($250)

Technically complex, dynamic, and awesome to look at. Clearly made by a very talented artist! It reminded us of League of Legends splash art - which is high praise given the quality of their art.

🥇WINNER: Charles Lemor ($400)

This piece is fantastic! We love the striking reds, the contrast on Dawn and that stylish flair throughout. We've always wanted to explore a more stylized direction in our promotional art and this felt incredibly inspiring.

Congratulations!

Star Trek The Next Generation scene. Tasha Yar, Riker, and Data stand outside with some greenery in the background, a questionably perfect blue sky backdrop, and lots of fog. Yar and Riker have a defensive posture holding phaser pistols, Data is staring at his phone. (It's a tricorder). Closed caption reads, "Spooky " 👻

Star Trek Deep Space Nine scene. We're on the Defiant I think, or maybe a runabout shuttle, the lights are dim. We see Jadzea Dax in Starfleet uniform, a humanoid alien who has lil tattoo looking marks up around her neck and through the forehead. Here she's making a scary angry face at the camera. Closed caption reads, "Boo!"

I think a lot about the chance we had at the start of COVID to finally become a more compassionate, collectivist nation, and how profoundly we were failed not only by the sociopathic greed of the ruling class but by each other.

It doesn’t mean we won’t get there, but the lost opportunity haunts me.

My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings. Look on my works and let me know if you have any questions! 🤗

A screenshot from Fox News' Wil Cain show On the left 1/3 of the screen a man who kinda has a Dracula vibe is sitting and talking. He's wearing a grey suit coat, white button up shirt and has dark black hair that's slicked back. The right 2/3 of the screen is taken up by a photo of an asteroid The chyron reads "Expert says comet's tail could be alien technology"

4:58 pm on a wednesday

The year is 2025. The rarest skill in the world is acting normal for like 15 minutes. For me of course it's effortless

I should’ve learned this by now but DO NOT use FedEx. The diseased monkeys I ordered haven’t arrived and I can’t get a straight answer on what happened to them