Flour Flour

sell teeth, buy roots, rest

YOUTUBE GUY: let me know you a little bit about what this pedal can do
[plays some godawful blues]
ME: i hate this pedal

Are there any other planets named after gross body parts

The boys will know what I’m talking about when I say I need a drum kit that I can play while I’m driving my car

Thinkin that if you create a test to (for example) prove the effectiveness of prayer, god will purposefully fail it. And that’s to punish you for being a nerd

For sale: never-worn shoes, baby! 😎

Airport experience reminding me that within the populace there exists a substantial jock bloc from which I am normally insulated

It’s real good but so is The Who

This isn’t a popular Johnny Cash opinion but I think after Highwayman he should’ve done a lot more songs where he flies a spaceship

Impressive that kratom can taste nasty right through a gel cap

nice jeans

I was nervous to say it when I was a kid in case it was a swear

That’s me I even own modular stuff

When you go to eat once piece of candy and it’s stuck to a second piece, well now you’ve got orders from on high. To eat two candies

If you want to feel better about your money you can express it in a new quantity I invented called mini-thousands. A mini-thousand is a hundred dollars. Unfortunately for me I have 3.8 mini thousand in therapy bills this month

One thing about me is that I got an advance on my allowance so I could buy Bush’s album Razorblade Suitcase

The first goomba in level one of mario 1 is too difficult

[chewing some pills] are these chewable?

really hoping this is still my larval stage

“Oatmeal, it’s better than no meal.” Calling any object I’m interacting with “this bad boy.” And when wearing anything uncomfortable “one must suffer for beauty”

beauty is all around us. but it is concentrated primarily in the phone!

Cool, enjoy it brother. Let me know when you’re toweling off 🤙

Hate when people do someone else’s bidding. Love when people do my bidding

current duration keeps the riff raff out

Experiencing a pre-Christmas surge of willpower because I know treats are forthcoming

Visiting friends and their toddler pulled out the Revolver LP squealing “John n Ringo!” Savage burn to the other Beatles