The Schlocketeer

Your Monster | VERN'S REVIEWS on the FILMS of CINEMA YOUR MONSTER is a 2024 romantic comedy with a fantastical genre concept. Laura (Melissa Barrera, ABIGAIL) is a theater actor who gets dumped by her longtime

I thought it would be a good day to review a Melissa Barrera movie, so I watched her fantastical rom-com YOUR MONSTER, which she's very good in.

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I'm a fan of TORQUE and DETENTION.

(Never got around to BODIED and haven't bothered with ICK because of how grating he has become online.)

Joseph Kahn may have made some good movies, but he's a goddamn idiot of a human being.

We technically still have new Zombie/John 5 music. It's just that it's now sitting on a shelf, to be released who knows when. They wrote & recorded an album before he left and it isn't the one that dropped today.

Hopefully both it and the unreleased 2000s-era album both see release someday.

It's incredible that we uncover the oldest film about a robot and it's about a construct turning on its creator

The Butlerian Jihad remains undefeated as a moral philosophy

a man with dreadlocks and a beard is screaming yeah . ALT: a man with dreadlocks and a beard is screaming yeah .

Amidst the chaotic burning of the world, at least I am off work tomorrow *and* get a new Rob Zombie album.

Alternatively, it's like Harvey Weinstein oversaw editing on a Platinum Dunes movie.

I could maybe...*maybe*...see some 2nd unit stuff kicking off around year's end, but not principal photography. Not when Villeneuve is going to be on the PR circuit for DUNE 3 at that exact time.

I don't expect principal to begin until early 2027 and that's if all goes well.

PSYCHO KILLER feels like a Dimension Films hatchet job of a film that fell out of a portal from 1999. I mean that both in a bad way and a good one.

It is a bad movie, but I was entertained.

No report seems to know exactly what characters anyone is playing. Just that Bale & DiCaprio are officially on board, Stephen Graham & Adam Driver are supposedly on board, and then an assortment of others (Austin Butler, Channing Tatum, Bradley Cooper, etc.) are rumored to be in it as well.

I'll be shocked if this isn't a hit. Gen-A is going to flip shit for it.

That should really be the motto for most IP expansions, especially when it comes to legacy follow-ups. Bring back what you love/most interests you and don't bother to touch on the rest. Let wonky sleeping corpses lie (aka no one needs Kersh or Spender and so on in this reboot-revival thing).

Self-correction: Carter undid their deaths in the comics. No reason they couldn't still roll with them having faked their deaths if they want to bring them back here.

...and then retconned that in their short-lived spinoff show! They're all still alive and so are their actors.

Given that it's a legacy sequel show, I just assume we'll eventually be getting these fellas again...perhaps with some younger proteges in tow.

I mean...

... it's a legacy sequel series, so we'll probably just get those three guys again. Perhaps with some younger proteges this time.

Every time I go to open the app, I brace myself for the fact that I am probably going to have to spend 10 minutes unlocking my Apple account for no goddamn reason and re-authenticating my TV's connection to their service again for no goddamn reason before I can watch anything on it.

No streaming service is worse than AppleTV+. I don't care how terrible the interfaces are for some of the others. At least they don't make me re-authenticate my account twice a week every goddamn week & often insist that my subscription isn't current, even when my Apple account clearly states it is.

If you have a problem with KPOP DEMON HUNTERS being in The Criterion Collection, you might need to take a nice long look into why you are so miserable. If that's all it takes to "devalue" the brand for you, you're the one with the problem, not Criterion.

Criterion releasing K Pop Demon Hunters is a net benefit for everyone - those who like the movie will get a really good home release of it, those who don’t care about the movie will benefit from Criterion having a certified money maker that they can use to help fund more obscure/niche releases

Ryan Coogler’s ‘X-Files’ Reboot Lands Hulu Pilot Order, Danielle Deadwyler to Star Ryan Coogler's reboot of "The X-Files" is officially moving forward with a pilot order at Hulu with Danielle Deadwyler set to star

Yes to all of this, please and thank you.

The shot where Neo gets up from Smith knocking him across the subway platform, strikes a pose and all the dust just flies off him before calmly taking his stance. Yeah, that's what it's all about.

Just caught CRIME 101 earlier.

A nice solid "Dad Movie" programmer of the Mannsploitation variety.

The Schlocketeer heartily approves.

In other words, your fries might be extra fresh, but the rest of your food no longer will be.

Also, depending on the place, the fries are usually pretty fresh anyway, as new batches are made continuously. That way baggers can instantly grab them to put with your just-made entree.

"HOT" TIP...

If you get fast food & order your fries with no salt specifically to ensure hotter fries, keep this in mind: fries are generally bagged last. Which means that while staff is waiting for your specially-ordered "fresh fries" to come up, the rest of your food is waiting under a heat lamp.

Roland Deschain and John Wick.

I need this movie. Right now.

Bill & Ted and Ernest P. Worrell.

Would watch.