Ari

and now, we must wash the pee from our skin, everybody now, time to wash off the piss

taking a nap before a rave bc it starts past my bedtime 👴

haha, do you ever churn your peanut butter so hard the label rips off

it seems like whether i'm drunk, stoned, or on hallucinogens my emotions all point towards love

(trying to fit in with a group of criminals, badly) I'm wearing a fuckin wire

when the actor that's driving the car in the scene, has to do some film shit, and I'm like EYES ON THE ROAD PLEASE

fuck my stupid hamburger helpless life

and she leaned over and wiggled it

Money tongue emoji doesn’t make any sense to me

My bank teller: maybe he lick it. maybe he lick the money

Me: yeah. Maybe.

like mother always says, there's nothing wrong with sucking cocks in hell

don't talk to me or my emotional support empty water bottles ever again

Never ruin your whole life

you know when the potato gets old and it starts sprouting, like more potato forms out, growing from where? like it's replicating in there, how does potato grow from potato, they could make infinite food if they figured that one out

me needing to microwave my food for 10 minutes in these weak ass uk microwaves, mashing the fuck out of the +30 sec button

im watching one of those street food videos, and the very talented chef just made cum

had a dream I was in a long conga line full of hot guys but instead of each person being one arms length away, it was zero arm lengths, so just all of our cocks and asses were touching

Roll that unbearable bean footage

I don't wash my grapes so that my body can build up a vaccine on grape dirt

And Alexander wept, for there was no more hamburger to help

you can tell how stressed someone is based on how often they post

first base: oral, second base: home run, third base: second base but with farting, fourth base: sex, but with stoned feat. crying

just experienced "paying attention" for the first time

might fuck around and emulsify myself

LET THE MINECRAFT TRADESMEN UNIONIZE

i'm not a religious man but i strongly believe in the cat distribution system

A woman in shades has her hands full of colorful shopping bags. There is an oscillating fan with her and she’s saying, Let’s shop, Skooby. Text: Money DOES grow on GAMES? Sorry trees. My GAMES. (green thumb? yeah green from money)

eating the avocado nut and throwing away the nasty green part

trying to sound sexy: roll me like a sausage

the tray used at subway to toast the sandwiches

peach's fsmash but with the big ass subway spatula

there must have been some kind of mistake. all my clothes got raptured up to heaven but left me behind. flapped my dingle to a city bus