The voices in our head

it feels like i didn’t take my meds today but i 100% did, even double checked my pill organizer

i hate myself

i would very kindly like to rip someone’s head off

me: why am i so drained today?

also me:

fiiiiiiiine

🌕 try the anxiety meds first please

maladaptive maybe, but it does help

i think we’re gonna get high instead of cooking, that sounds more helpful

maybe it’s because we’re stuck in this stupid fucking place, and we’ll probably end up homeless or dead or something

maybe MJ realized we’re just draining to be around

maybe that’s why Ash doesn’t wanna talk to us anymore, maybe they’re actually living it up without us in their life

we’re fucked up and despite people saying they like us, we don’t actually have longterm friends…it’s cuz once people see the real us, the depressed fucked up one, they realize we were never worth being around in the first place

i don’t deserve nice things

vent vent vent

we’re never going to actually get better…i wish we could just accept that…

broken, broken is who i really am

won’t be bothered to admit that i’m disabled

i am my hurt, i am my pain, i am my trauma.

think you see anything beyond that? that’s probably just the mask. i’m terrified of being alone but at the same time i’m not worth anyone’s time or energy

wants to be around.

i’m the one who can’t get better, i’m the one who the meds mask, i’m the piece of shit that nobody actually wants to be friends with

i’m the one who wants to kill itself.

i’m the one everyone loves to hurt and abuse

i’m the one trapped with my parents because the government

like, fuck my therapists, they always be saying that i’m improving or that i won’t always be this sad piece of absolute shit. but guess what? this is who i actually am

i’m not the one that smiles and has friends and who people care about. no, i’m the one who breaks down constantly and who nobody

this thing that cries and breaks down and is never okay? this is the real “me”

do you want to actually know any of us? well here we are.

we aren’t “being too hard on ourselves” or exaggerating. this is us. this is the real us.

🐾 hate that our brain makes us doubt that we can do basic ass shit like this

just gotta survive the weekend so we can get to program next week

if they give a fuck (which i doubt) my shit is in front of my door, if they don’t? it’ll still be there in the morning.

as in like, the mental health of the past 2 days has genuinely been that bad

that feeling when you’re inches away from going to the hospital

they left yesterday and i miss their presence

hell, i already miss them 🥺

i smell gross and i hate itttttt

fmlipmptise

not like i don’t already, but still

this skeet brought to you by us getting high on weed again cuz allegedly it’s not gonna get us kicked out