Schwarzebar

Getting up at 6am and cooking a country breakfast like a trad wife.

Time and place 😈

55: Morning pump, now back to pushing pixels around.

Firm squeeze indeed - you got a handful 🍑

You look *deliciously* 5’8 here

So instead of going to bed at 2:30 and waking up at 7:30 groggy, I went to bed at 11 and woke up at 4 anxious. So there’s that.

54: Lifting in the early am.

Off to bed; I’m trying to become a “morning person” again but since I haven’t had an office to go to almost 4 years…it’s a foreign concept. But I always feel better when I do.

It is 54 degrees in Chicago and the BOOTISHA SHORT SHORTS ARE OUT IN THIS MARIANOS. 😮‍💨

Alexa, play “Dance (Ass)” by Big Sean

I’m stealing this. Not microbraids!

a woman wearing glasses is giving a thumbs up and the word pbbbt is on the bottom of her face . ALT: a woman wearing glasses is giving a thumbs up and the word pbbbt is on the bottom of her face .

Oh he needs to GO.

a stuffed penguin with the words swiggity swooty gimme dat booty ALT: a stuffed penguin with the words swiggity swooty gimme dat booty

🎶 TOOT THAT THANG UP! 🎶

53: new bathroom paint in dark lady

No this is HORNTY. 🤤 My whole diet is just chicken breasts with various dips.

52: ✌🏾

Baby I found this last month and I swear my skin cleared up.

This is the best mashup of the last decade. My god.

It’s definitely doing something over here…🤤

51: I was having a 90s chain moment.

Update: Dragged myself back in the house because because the creative train hit harder than the gym train, but shit is getting done.

I'm got my home Apple+ workout as a backup.

Booty Butt Cheeks is the best motivator.

This is great framing - thank you. I’ve dragged myself to the bus to the gym.

I need to finish my business website today but I also need to go to the gym but I also have DnD at 6 and because of that I cannot do anything at all until 5:30 so I’ll be in the bed playing Balatro with the blackout shades down.

Someone please come kick me in the ass.

Fuck…Now I’m horny and hungry. I gotta make breakfast asap…

Submissive and breedable? 🥰 😁 🤤

a woman says i would like to see it ALT: a woman says i would like to see it

Bush is a further sign that you are a man of taste. 👏🏾

Also…

To another year around the sun 🥂 🎂

a man in a blue shirt and tie is pointing at a bulletin board with a lot of papers on it . ALT: a man in a blue shirt and tie is pointing at a bulletin board with a lot of papers on it .

Always look for the signs!

This is unhinged behavior and also the spelling is upsetting to me and my homegirl.

There is a direct correlation between the pixelation of a gay app photo and the shittiness of the lay.

50: Fifty photo check-ins. Still job hunting. Someone employ me already; my feet are too fucked up for OnlyFans so imma have to rely on my personality or my skills.

Maybe my tits…