Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
-Robert Frost

real bummer finding out that literally everything was on the honor system this whole time

I was just trying to articulate this exact feeling, but failing. So this was perfect to find.

*me, lying facedown on the bed, yelling into the mattress:

"WHY DO THOSE OF US WHO DIDN'T FUCK AROUND ALSO HAVE TO FIND OUT"

Never fails

okay now that you all have gotten a taste of America's rational and predictable new trade policy, everyone who wants to build your new factories here just form an orderly line

California Assembly Speaker Robert Rivas (D-Salinas): "there are currently more kids with measles in Texas than there are transgender athletes in the NCAA. That's the epidemic we should all be worried about."

I learned this week that you can put our troops' lives in danger, compromise our national security, and violate the Espionage Act. And the government will do nothing.

But if you write an editorial for your school newspaper that Trump doesn't like, you will be abducted on the street and disappeared.

Trump Claims He Can Overrule Constitution With Executive Order Because Of Little-Known ‘No One Will Stop Me’ Loophole

Trump Claims He Can Overrule Constitution With Executive Order Because Of Little-Known ‘No One Will Stop Me’ Loophole
theonion.com/trump-c...

If a woman had 13 kids by four different men, used ketamine and spent all her time running a shadow presidency, I’m not sure our society would celebrate her.

ok but like, how are we getting any work done. i'm trying to tippy tap away at my silly little keyboard but every fifteen minutes or so the new stupidest thing anyone's ever done happens.

They are just swinging sledgehammers in the dark.

Things are going great.

I would so go to this business.

[guy who made a billion dollars secretly feeding you lizard meat] I think I speak for all honest hard-working Americans when I say we need to shut down the Department of Checking What Kind of Meat That Is

Hey man sorry to hear about all your political turmoil. Would it help if I scrolled around on the computer all day and drove myself insane?

“Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up”

(Anyone else exhausted by all this?)

Think Tank Called ‘The Himmler Institute’ Assures Nation This All Legal WASHINGTON—In an effort to assuage any fears over the constitutionality of the Trump administration’s flurry of executive actions, a D.C.-area think tank called The Himmler Institute reportedly assure...

Think Tank Called ‘The Himmler Institute’ Assures Nation This All Legal
theonion.com/think-t...