Laszlo

jailers fitted me with the temu ball and chain

when you fall asleep with your soul open

in the galactic space council there's this one politician from jupiter who's always so gassy. i see him fumbling with his malfunctioning pressure regulator as he tries to push up to pluto's representative but he's so obvious about it. fumes everywhere, man. get me out of here.

this 20s depression is going to be a lot like the last one in that it'll be a heyday for animators but instead of mickey mouse it's gonna be sfm porn

everyone's talking about exoplanets and "life below the ice" but my allegiance is with gas city

Will potentially live long enough to see the celebration of the first Bidenalia, a day hearkening back to an earlier golden age of abundance, wealth, agriculture, periodic renewal and liberation. Some say he was a real king but few can precisely recall.

Beg and Plead for 8 Red Coins

what if instead of the cold war it was the clam war and there was the united states of clamerica and they had to build out their bivalvistic missile arsenal bc they were scared of a mussel gap

new yorker consumed by The Pollen: badda bing badda bloom!

Adolf Hitler born 100 years later would’ve gotten all in on post-gamergate antiwoke grifting. posting about being a sensitive young chudcel on twitter. making concept art for em-8er. He’d be another manchild eceleb.

aura vertical farming. aura hydroponics. aura aquaculture. aura permaculture. aura grow lights.

maybe im part of the international sludge council and i know more about viscosity than you

John Fetterman’s a disgrace to the oaf community. He does not represent America’s lumbering buffoons, ham-fisted galoots, or men whose heavy footsteps are soundtracked by a tuba.

In the summer of 2015 I met Bigfoot in the Oregon woods. He was mostly a pretty chill guy but when I asked him what he thought about abortion he fractured my shin with a log.

you can build a computer out of anything. it doesn't matter

raw as fuck this should be real

Trump isn't even the president and the american right is fracturing. People keep comparing America to Weimar but are we ready for it to actually be interwar Austria

Remember, kids: Never, ever, under any circumstances, demand better from the people that just expect you to vote for them no matter what. Just don’t do it or you’ll never hear the last of it when they lose because they ran a shitty campaign.

putting up one big christmas light

Happy Hawktuanukkah to all who celebrate

bluesky is adding an "only boorish oafs can interact" setting

New Jersey drones bleed if you shoot them. Don’t let the hard metal and plastic deceive you.

post-industrial politics exist at the confluence between violence and thinly-veiled fetish content

due to inflation, you now have to hawk threeah

gun camera from a mig-21 in afghanistan, clearly visible for several seconds is a large humanoid taking a direct rocket hit before the aircraft pulls up