Chews Peace

Almost forgot I had this account.

Dragging today. Stayed up late not feeling great in the head with a friend who was doing even worse. We worried and fussed over each other until we felt better.

At least, I hope they feel better and they're not just wearing a mask... like me.

So I'm laying awake, started to reach out to a friend on Discord, then just before typing a message I felt this random wave of 'Grr, I'm angry, the world needs to leave me alone' and I just closed the app entirely. The Hell is wrong with me?

High winds at the perfect time of day created a previously undocumented 2,400 foot rainbow waterfall in Yosemite National Park

#PTSD

a cat in a wheel with the words my thoughts today written below it ALT: a cat in a wheel with the words my thoughts today written below it

My brain right now at 4am:

The worst part about PTSD/PNSD for me? Feeling like if I say anything I'm just bringing up the past and making 'otherwise decent' people look bad, because I was basically programmed to feel that from birth. Now I'm laying awake and can't stop ruminating, but I'm just 'bringing up the past, right?

Scratch that. There's one inhabitable Earth and 8 planets in our Solar System (Unless more planets have been discovered that I'm not aware of). Let's just send all the idiots to other planets Toejam & Earl style. Y'know, when they had to get the Earthlings off of Planet Funkotron?

Anyone else wanna pull up roots and move to another planet?

... no, there's no WiFi on Venus, Sharon! Quit yer whining!

So the game is a glass rose; beautiful but fragile.

Yeah, careful of the micro-detailing or it may macro-derail you from finishing up the main infrastructure! Details are great and make art what it is, but focusing too much on them takes a lot of time! You seem to have a good balance, though, and it's looking great!

If at all possible, take a day off! Sure we have to work to eat and pay bills, but pushing ourselves too hard at work defeats the purpose.

Today was stressful for literally no reason. Frick anxiety. I've consumed a legal, farmer's bill compliant gummy and my brain is jello now. I should write some weird fanfiction.

Ever notice how cyber trucks look like PS1 Lara Croft's polygonal uniboob?

Let that sink in. Let that SOAK.

I am so frikkin' over winter. I'd rather open my front door and feel like I'm opening an oven than feel like I'm opening a freezer. Winter clothes are so heavy and restrictive, too. Just going to the grocery store is a hassle when you look like a Stay Puft Marshmallow Man cosplay.

Can't sleep, anxiety will eat me...

F'real though, anyone got tips on how to go to sleep while anxiety is bugging you? I'm out of sleep Aids and I have to work tomorrow so I don't wanna take my farmer's bill compliant/legal in every state except Idaho 'special' gummies.

I mean don't get me wrong, I'm glad to have SOME forms of heat/water and a house to use them in. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but after a while it gets on your nerves and starts wearing you down, y'know? Especially when you work hard and it's not enough.

Virgo ☀️ - Taurus 🌙 - Sagittarius ⬆️ here, and I feel called out. Lol

Hey, life? Yeah, you know how my HVAC is out and I'm relying on space heaters, the well went dry so I have to go get water, and I'm working my butt off, getting nowhere as power/food take up my money with property taxes rapidly approach?

Yeah, life, can you knock it off?!

Happy New Year, everyone! Here's to an awesome new year! If things were rough last year, now is the time to grab life by the lapels and shake your spirit free! You are the master of your own disaster!

... This doesn't sound quite as encouraging as I intended.

That's actually really reassuring and helpful! Thanks!

I know we shouldn't self diagnose, but between the hyper fixations, sensitivities to textures in food and clothing, OCD about cleaning, disregulated emotions and social awkwardness/social ineptitude I'm REALLY starting to think I might be high functioning autistic.

I needed this Christmas vacation. I was in such a nasty state of mental health that I almost didn't come, but I'm glad now that I did. Hope everyone else has a great holiday!

PTSD is acting up in the form of a neighbour who can't respect personal time or space reminding me of when said things were invaded much more viciously and forcibly.

Oh, well! Time to eat my emotions! Where's that leftover burrito?!

Well, if every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn't have hot dogs. For what it's worth, though? I think that grammatical error may have (possibly) been subconscious and just further shows how much you need and appreciate your editor!

What up? ChewsPeace here, but you can call me Chew or Chewy for short!I'm just here to hang, chill, maybe rant harmlessly from time to time about life's little struggles!