The Vidalia News Recorder

#greenbeans are the #smug #assholes we always knew them to be
#vegetables

Goofy photos of two women that look like pippy Longstocking, eating burgers, with one large man who's delightfully eating two burgers. Below is the title: Wendy's Announces New Dating App: The Bacon-Mater http://vidalianewsrecorder.com/2025/10/06/wendys-announces-new-dating-app-the-bacon-mater/

Congrats to @wendy-s.bsky.social on the new dating app: The #Bacon-Mater This is an great idea and we're lucky to get the #exclusive on this #tasty story
#loveconquers
Please read our exposé and get a glimpse of the #profile questions!!

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ATI: What New Health Metric Will the Oura Ring 5 Monitor? Visit the post for more.

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Who can #guess what the #ouraring 5 #newfeature will be?

Having Skirted Women’s Issues, Science Vows to Handle More Boobies Within is a conversation between two Science researchers as they study women’s issues by studying boobs in the pursuit of penance for the historical distancing of women from Science.

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#womensissues #boobies #science #research #women

ATI: Which Astrological Sign Will Forget to Read the Memo at Work Today? Visit the post for more.

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#astrology #lavender #gemini #virgins

That’s the connective tissue worth debating: not just what these texts say, but how they ritualize the role of ordinary people in service of elite power, how they've each been used to reign in the life and power of the many

Different costumes—techno‑managerial, racial‑militaristic, moral‑philosophical.
Same structure: the many are used as fuel, and the elitist few are exalted.

🔹 Yarvin: The masses are users of a governance “OS,” while a CEO‑monarch runs the system.
🔹 Hitler: The masses are soldiers, swearing blood oaths, sacrificed for the Führer’s racial state.
🔹 Rand: The masses are recipients, waiting passively for Promethean fire from heroic elites.

Three very different anti‑democratic texts—Curtis Yarvin’s Dark Enlightenment, Hitler’s Mein Kampf, and Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged—all share a hidden structure: they use “the people” as fuel for the power of a tiny elite. 🧵

Anne Hathaway Models Tom’s Hardware Pocket Protectors for Nerds. Dorks Outraged Paris Fashion Show Inside this inner-city warehouse, that sits like an inelegant scar against the Parisian sky, is this year’s most anticipated haute couture fashion show. Eat your hearts out…

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Congratulations to @annehathawaybr.bsky.social for her constant command of #hautecouture this time by #modeling the new @tomshardware.com line of #pocketprotector. #nerdlife #dork

Hello @esqueer.net ...
Though we can't all feel your feelings, we all here at the VNR can feel intense sadness and anger at the unnecessary suffering being caused. We are saddened for your sadness and grief, and for everyone who means something to you, for everyone who looks up to you.

USDA, FDA with DHS, CBP, BOP Create Food Rating: Soylento Greeno In a darkened room, walls stacked with shelves, burdened with boxes labelled with their contents of: condensed meat sludge, pre-slimed lettuce, pre-lettuced slime, smushed tomatoes, brittle taco sh…

But don't worry, according to our satirical investigations, they are making the food safe from food dies and 5Gs

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USDA, FDA with DHS, CBP, BOP Create Food Rating: Soylento Greeno In a darkened room, walls stacked with shelves, burdened with boxes labelled with their contents of: condensed meat sludge, pre-slimed lettuce, pre-lettuced slime, smushed tomatoes, brittle taco sh…

Which forces us to write silly bits, like this

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USDA, FDA with DHS, CBP, BOP Create Food Rating: Soylento Greeno In a darkened room, walls stacked with shelves, burdened with boxes labelled with their contents of: condensed meat sludge, pre-slimed lettuce, pre-lettuced slime, smushed tomatoes, brittle taco sh…

We're sorry a once useful establishment is being torn to its husk. This probably won't help, but hopefully it's funny.

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@moderation.bsky.app
Please do not punish this post... We pushed the wrong button.

This is an important post where someone is warning of an online revenge attempt clearly planning on doing harm, and the post wants to call out this bad behavior

I repeat... This post good

bsky.app/profile/says...

Well you can't be us! After crushing debt, failed relationships, and a life of injecting meth straight into our eyes (for the lolz), we're about ready to...
You know what? Nevermind.

Have it. You can be us for a bit. We're going to try being happy, or a poodle, whichever, no biggie

ATI: Who Will Won Love Island Season 8, and How? Visit the post for more.

vidalianewsrecorder.com/2025/09/11/a...

USDA, FDA with DHS, CBP, BOP Create Food Rating: Soylento Greeno In a darkened room, walls stacked with shelves, burdened with boxes labelled with their contents of: condensed meat sludge, pre-slimed lettuce, pre-lettuced slime, smushed tomatoes, brittle taco sh…

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BREAKING NEWS: False equivalences are still false. Biden was a better president than a banana. A banana would've done nothing, which would've been better than Trump.

Taylor Swift Ditches The VNR to Marry Some Hunk Who’s Probably a Hot Football Player with a Podcast For all the Swifties… The story of us is a haunted, blank space where the archer knows all too well of mirrorballs and champagne problems, of delicate willows and the wildest dreams. This is …

This is why independent satire is crucial in times like these. Our articles are so stupid that the current level of AI can't keep up. Our level of dumb-fuckery can't be engineered in a lab. We are the "damsel idiots"

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“Adieu Mon Fuck” – Says Dumpster Fire Union Rep If you had to give up one word that you use regularly, what would it be? Well shit, this is gonna be a hard one for sure. If there is one word I had to give up, that I otherwise use regularly, it w…

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BREAKING NEWS: Actual news journal scoops the satire industry with hilariously fallacious and dangerous headline

But would you be proud to hire numbskull satirists that are unequal parts numbskulls... and satirists?

VNR Editorial: It’s Never Been Easier For Men to Date Are you a leather-faced grumplestiltskin? Or a walking skin suit without morals? Maybe you’re a lonely, single hell-maw that feasts on children but never experienced real love? Does dating se…

This evil person inspired our groundbreaking reporting in this article

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VNR Editorial: It’s Never Been Easier For Men to Date Are you a leather-faced grumplestiltskin? Or a walking skin suit without morals? Maybe you’re a lonely, single hell-maw that feasts on children but never experienced real love? Does dating se…

His evil presence inspired this groundbreaking article

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BREAKING NEWS: The audit will be conducted in secret in an unscripted reality tv show starting this season on Fox

Taylor Swift Ditches The VNR to Marry Some Hunk Who’s Probably a Hot Football Player with a Podcast For all the Swifties… The story of us is a haunted, blank space where the archer knows all too well of mirrorballs and champagne problems, of delicate willows and the wildest dreams. This is …

Little known fib... @taylorswifthd.bsky.social
Tay-Tay used to drive our getaway car

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Taylor Swift Ditches The VNR to Marry Some Hunk Who’s Probably a Hot Football Player with a Podcast For all the Swifties… The story of us is a haunted, blank space where the archer knows all too well of mirrorballs and champagne problems, of delicate willows and the wildest dreams. This is …

Thank you. That means a lot, since someone pretty famous just dumped us for a football player. We are... shunned

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